How I, Lily Evans, fell in love
by WoodenRed
Summary: A story set in the Marauders seventh year told from Lily Evans' perspective about the development of her relationship with James and everything else it brings with it while a war is brewing in their world.
1. Chapter 1

_DISCALIMER – I DON'T OWN ANYTHING._

**How I, Lily Evans, fell in Love…**

I was walking down the corridor from the library, just having finished my Charms essay, when it finally hit me. Like a mountain troll smacking me with a Christmas tree.

In precisely 2 hours and 53 minutes, I would be going on a date with James Potter.

A _date_. With James Potter. After six long and excruciating years of throwing insults, Body Binding curses and Balding Charms at him, last night, I – Lily Evans, threw _myself_ at him.

It all began quite innocently.

I've always loved Fridays. Double Charms followed by Potions and a long weekend ahead to look forward to. Besides, this weekend was the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year.

After Potions that fateful Friday, I walked past the Entrance Hall to the school grounds. Mary and Alice were waiting for me by the Great Lake like they had been every Friday evening for the last five years. Every Friday evening, the three of us got together after class to soak our feet in the lake, eat chocolate frogs (me), talk about how good Frank Longbottom looked in his Quidditch robes (Alice) and come up with highly detailed and complex Quidditch strategies (Mary).

I was about to turn a corner after Greenhouse 3 to take a shortcut to the Great Lake when I spotted a black mop floating in between Greenhouse 4 and 5. While a floating black mop can mean any number of things in a school where all the students were magical, when it is at a height of six feet and a quarter inch, has a gorgeous boy underneath it and also doubles as 'Quidditch hair', it only means one thing.

James Potter was lurking in the alley between Greenhouse 4 and 5.

Now, a year ago if I had been confronted with the same scenario, I would have done one of two things – run like hell from the spot because surely, it could only mean that Potter and his gang had chosen that spot for their latest prank or gone up to him and given him detention for executing said prank.

But, a lot had change in the last three months. The first change appeared in the form of a shiny silver badge that fell out of an envelope into my hands. The badge wasn't unexpected but what _was _utterly shocking was the contents of the letter that came with it. Albus Dumbledore, the Greatest Wizard of the Century, Headmaster of the best Wizarding School in Britain, Order of Merlin First Class, Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot would soon be living in St. Mungo's after being declared clinically insane. That could be the only reason why he would pick _James Potter_ to be the next Head Boy. Three minutes after opening the letter, I was done writing my own letter to the esteemed headmaster listing 52 reasons why I thought appointing James Potter as Head Boy was like declaring that Severus Snape had won the title of Mr. Congeniality.

The only reason the letter didn't reach Professor Dumbledore was that my owl, Roxie, wouldn't let me tie the letter to her legs, probably sensing that letter wouldn't be in the best interest of her owner. You now your life has reached bottom when your pet owl is smarter than you.

So I began my seventh and final year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry dreading all the hours I would have to spend with my mortal enemy doing Head Duties, mentally preparing myself for the many pick-up lines that would be coming my way and going over all the hexes I had ever learnt if I wanted to respond to the pick-up lines.

What I wasn't prepared for was the James Potter I found waiting for me in the Prefect's Compartment. The James Potter who would slowly but definitely become, well _sort of_ become my friend in three months.

To most of the other students in school, he was still the same James Potter. He was still the life of every party. He was still acing all his tests. He was still making everyone around him laugh till their sides hurt. He still flew like he was born to be on a broomstick. And he still looked just as good.

Yet they didn't see what I saw. When you spend six years of your life hating someone the way I hated James Potter, you end up noticing small details about them. Details that infuriate you. Details that leave you baffled when they disappear. Everything about the new James Potter baffled me and I noticed the small changes. Like how he didn't ruffle his hair as often as he used to. Like how he didn't play with a snitch all the time to show off anymore. Like how he didn't throw his head back in that reckless manner and curse everyone wearing green and silver robes within a one kilometer radius anymore. _Like how_ _ he hadn't asked me out since the beginning of seventh year._

I couldn't figure out the reason behind these changes for the life of me but I found myself warming up to him as the weeks passed by. Head duties were fun because we did them while arguing about whether the lead singer of Pink Pixies was actually a man and patrolling was fun because we got ice creams from the kitchen to eat while we walked. And talked. Because James Potter _always_ had a story to tell.

The night we went up to the Astronomy Tower and stopped two fourth years from reaching second base, he told me about the time his grandmother started the Hippogriff dance at his aunt's wedding after eating some objectionable cookies two Cuban friends of the groom gave her. Three guests had to be taken to St. Mungo's because of the mayhem that followed. The night we found Sirius Black in a broom cupboard with a blonde fifth year, he told me about an incident that involved Sirius in a red dress, a 'tame' dragon, chocolate pudding, and a Volvo during a night out in Muggle occupied Paris.

James Potter had changed.

So, that Friday evening, when I saw James Potter lurking in the alley between Greenhouse 4 and 5, I didn't run or hand out any detentions.

I walked up to him and said, "Hey".

XXXXX

My chirpy greeting made him jump about a foot in the air. He turned to look at me with a very surprised and slightly guilty look on his face.

"Lily! What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Potter. What have you got in your hand?"

He waved the _Daily Prophet_ he was holding at my face and said,"Suspicious much?"

"I meant your other hand, James."

I was sure of it now. The boy was definitely hiding something.

A staring match ensued. As the look on my face got more and more determined and curious, the look on his face got more and more sheepish and guilty. Finally he cracked.

"Ok, promise me you won't get all 'Head Girl' on me. And don't mention this to Sirius."

A James Potter secret that Sirius Black didn't know about? This was going to be interesting.

"So I read about this thing in _Wizteen_. Its a plant native to Peru, but I hear Sprout's got a batch somewhere here in Greenhouse 5. If you burn the leaves and inhale the smoke, it makes you..h..umm...happy. " he said in one breath, probably hoping I wouldn't catch any of it.

Tough luck.

"YOU ARE SMOKING A JOINT OUT HERE?"

"Shh...keep your voice down, Lily! I didn't do it. I came out here intending to..to take my mind off things but I changed my mind! It was a stupid idea. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Seriously James, I thought you were past all of this! Stealing a a plant from the greenhouse to smoke something that's probably illegal and risking expulsion or worse for a momentary thrill? I thought you had changed. And you don't have Sirius to blame all of this on. Even he probably wouldn't do something so stupid! And what is Sprout thinking keeping something like that in the school Dumbledore know about it?"

"It wasn't for a thrill, alright? I just needed something to take my mind off things. I told you! Would you just calm down?" he said; now beginning to look agitated.

"Oh yeah? And what are these 'things' you need to get your mind off? Too many third years asking you out? Ravenclaw's Quidditch strategy better than yours? Tell me. What was troubling you so much, that you were compelled to break about a dozen laws?"

"You wouldn't understand anyway. Why bother?" he said, turning to leave.

"Not so fast," I said, grabbing his arm."Try me."

Maybe he saw something in my face that made him trust me, or maybe I just had a really good grip. Whatever it was, he stayed. When he turned to look at me, I couldn't read his face.

"Did you read the _Prophet_ this morning?" he said.

"Don't change the topic, James."

"Will you just hear me out? Did you read the Prophet this morning? More specifically the article about the 'mysterious disappearance' of Charles Harvey?" he said, looking at me more seriously than I ever thought him capable of.

"No. What does that have to do with anything?" I said, starting to get impatient.

"Guess I should start from the beginning then. Both my parents come from old Pureblood families, only difference being that my Mum's family thinks that makes them better than everybody else while my Dad's family couldn't care less. My Mum's an Auror, while my Dad works at the Ministry. They're both pretty high up, so they know things. And so I know things."

"The past few months things have been getting weird, Lily. I see how tensed my parents look but they don't want me to know. There's something out there. Someone actually. And he believes in all this Pureblood nonsense. And he thinks the purebloods should stop sitting around talking about how Muggleborns don't belong in our world and do something about it. They say he's becoming powerful. Gathering followers. Everyday more people are disappearing .They think it's because of him."

"Would you stop using all these pronouns?"I said, trying to keep the fear out of my voice."Who is this guy?"

"I don't know, Lil. Like I said, my parents are trying to protect me or something. I cant get anything out of them. All I get when I ask them is 'Don't you worry about it, son.' It makes me furious."

"What does this have to do with Charles Harvey's disappearance?" I said.

"Charles Harvey was an Auror. He worked with my Mum. He has a kid about our age, George. We used to play together when we were kids while our parents hung out. I just got a letter from him. Doesn't know what to make of his father's disappearance. Heard his Mum talking to my Mum. Apparently they think he's dead. Murdered. They think there's a war coming. He wants to know if I know anything about it."

They silence that followed was heavy. Suddenly, I felt very small.

"James, I.."

"What the hell am I supposed to say to him, Lily? When it just as easily could've been me sending him a letter asking about my Mum. They are in this too deep. And I don't know whether to be proud or terrified about that. "he said, burying his face in his hands.

I took his hand in mine.

"I think you have the right to be both." I said, sounding way more sure of myself than I actually felt.

While we had gone from arguing about strange Peruvian plants to a war that might be ahead of us, night had fallen.

XXXXX

We were silent for a while after that. Each of us lost in our own thoughts. I had forgotten about Mary and Alice, but I suddenly remember the Chocolate Frogs I had carried with me. Now seemed as good a time as any for chocolate.

"Want one?" I asked James, holding out a Chocolate Frog.

"Sure."

I tore off the wrapper and found Albus Dumbledore winking up at me.

"Dumbledore."I said.

"I have about eleven Dumbledore cards." Said James, tearing off the wrapper from his own Chocolate Frog."Ugh, Urik the Oddball again. Seriously, how many of these do they make?"

"No, James, I mean what about Dumbledore? As long as we have Dumbledore we don't really have to worry, do we? He's the greatest wizard of our time. Even Grindelwald didn't dare to enter Britain because he was scared of Dumbledore. And he finally defeated Grindelwald. If he isn't worried then maybe its nothing."

"Of course Dumbledore is worried. He came to my house many times over the summer. Probably to discuss about the disappearances. The Ministry likes to pretend nothing is happening. I think Dumbledore is trying to get people to wake up. I heard them talk about an 'Order'. All summer there have been strangers coming to my house for secret meetings that last for hours together. Sirius and I tried to get in on a couple of them but they wouldn't let us."

"Is that what happened to you over the summer?" I said without thinking.

"What do you mean?" James said, looking puzzled.

"I mean, you've changed over the summer."I said, blushing.

"You mean I'm acting like less of a jerk now?" he said with a smirk. "Toerag, I think, was your preferred word."

"Well yeah."

"I guess it might be the reason I've changed. In school I thought it was just some stupid house rivalry, you know? The Slytherins pick on Muggleborns as a joke and the rest of the school gets back at them. But maybe it's more than that. Maybe its starts here in school. I don't know, suddenly hexing Slytherins doesn't feel like a game anymore."

"It never was a game, James. People got hurt."

"See, I never looked at it that way. People got a few laughs out of it and the ones who get hexed get over it. I thought that was it. You were right all along. There was no difference between me and those Slytherins." he said looking more dejected than before.

"It's not too late to change that, James. Hell, you've changed already."

"There's just more to life than Quidditch and pranks and girls, you know?"

". James..Did I just hear you say there's more to life than Quidditch?" I said, completely shocked. I mean this was the boy who supposedly had a hex-proof, airtight case for his Quidditch magazines up in his room.

"Well, there is. I mean, yeah you do need that stuff to keep you sane and its what makes life fun..but there are more important things. Here at Hogwarts we don't see that. It's wonderful here. We are spending the best years of our lives here. But it's like a cocoon. While we are here we have no idea what's happening out there. Can you believe we'll be out of here in a couple of months? What then?" he said, looking up at the moonlit castle with a look that I usually reserved for my Chocolate Frogs.

"I think I liked the old James better. Yeah, he was annoying as hell but at least he never bummed me out as much."I said grumpily, trying to lighten the mood.

James laughed.

"I can never win with you can I, Lily?"

I shrugged and grabbed another Chocolate Frog.

"To think that up until last year the only thing that scared me about graduation was the thought that I would never see you again. Not that it doesn't scare me now."

Only James Potter could say something like that to a girl and still continue staring at the castle as though nothing had happened.

"Of course, you'll see me again. What makes you think you won't?"I asked, not really sure if I wanted to hear the answer.

"Come on, Lily. You can't stand being around me. I saw the letter you wrote to Dumbledore .I'm shocked you could only come up with 52 reasons why I shouldn't be Head Boy." he said, still refusing to look me in the eye.

"Where on earth did you get that?"I asked, completely shocked.

"You left it with the patrolling schedule you gave to me at the beginning of the year. But, hey, it's ok. Nothing in there I didn't know about already." Said James, trying to sound like it didn't bother him.

"James, I admit I believed every word I wrote _while_ I was writing it. But that's not why I think right now. And I sure as hell don't hate you." I said, desperately hoping he'll believe me. Maybe I should've said something more than 'I don't hate you' but I didn't have the courage to. I always thought the stupid Hat put me in the wrong house. So much for Gryffindor bravery.

"Do you think we'll ever get a second chance, Lily?"

"What do you mean?" He still wasn't looking at me.

"Do you think we'll ever get over all the crap in our past? Start over, you know?"

"You mean become friends?" I asked, knowing that wasn't the answer.

"Yes. And more."

He finally turned to look at me.

"Lily, if there's a war coming and my family is going to be in the middle of it, then that's where I'm going to be. I can't just stand by and watch the world I grew up in fall apart. I'm willing to risk my life for that. Even if that means I'll probably end up at the receiving end of a Killing Curse before I turn thirty, then I'll take it. But when I see that green light rushing towards me, I don't want my last thought to be 'What if I hadn't insulted Snape and driven Lily away in the train compartment back in first year?'That's where it all started, huh? Since then I've thrown away any chance I had with you with both my hands, along with any chance I had of being happy. But I don't want to wonder about what would have happened if I had had the courage to clean up my act and ask you to give me one last chance."

Hazel.

Everyone always said that James Potter has hazel eyes. I always said they were golden. That night they were neither. I think that was the first time I saw him for who he really was. The first time I thought that he actually meant what he was saying.

Something in my brain told me that it was moments like these people wrote songs about. Yet, the world didn't start spinning like the songs claimed nor did I hear violins playing in the background.

Nothing extraordinary happened.

Except that with a blink of an eye, I took a step forward and kissed James Potter.

The first thing I thought of was chocolate. Chocolate frogs, to be more specific. Then I thought about how James smelt of chocolate. And pumpkin juice. After that all I could think about was James. I don't know how long we 'stood' there like that. At first, James pulled back in surprise. But remember my good grip? He didn't need any more encouragement after that.

There are many different kinds of kisses. I mean, you can put a lot of things into a kiss. It could mean anything from 'I wish you weren't moving to India because who knows when we'll be doing this again' to 'I wish you would let me borrow your broomstick'. Or, it could just mean I can't believe we spent six years fighting when we could've been doing this.

Eventually we had to come up for air.

Somehow we found ourselves pressed against the wall of Greenhouse accurately put, James was pressed against the wall of Greenhouse 4, I noted with embarrassment.

James looked anything but embarrassed. His eyes were golden again.

"Does this mean you'll finally go out with me? Tomorrow..Hogsmeade?"

"Yes."

It's funny how a three letter word can change your whole life.

XXXXX

_END OF CHAPTER_


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING.**

_AUTHOR'S NOTES – Thanks to_ _**zynaofthenight, lumos maximum, hpfan, BlueSkies13, Purple Painted Toenails**_ _ for reading and leaving wonderful reviews! You guys made my day!_

**XXXXX**

**CHAPTER 2**

**Denial**: A defense mechanism in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence.

**Case in Study: **Lily Evans

**Uncomfortable and rejected Fact: **After six years of claiming (shrieking) that the Giant Squid would be a better date than mortal enemy James Potter, after minimal encouragement or provocation, subject played tonsil hockey with said James Potter.

**Overwhelming Evidence: **Severe heart palpitations experienced by subject in question and the smell of pumpkin juice lingering around subject, despite it being six days since subject last had pumpkin juice.

**Mechanism used by Subject: **Burying herself under a sea of Charms textbooks in the north corner of the library to avoid thinking about 'Uncomfortable and rejected Fact'.

**Diagnosis:** Subject is suffering an acute case of Denial.

**XXXXX**

2 hours and 52 minutes.

I was still standing in the corridor past the library.

Why had I not prepared myself for this?

Last night, after the _incident,_ I headed straight back to the Gryffindor tower, missing dinner, mumbling 'Homework' to a furious Mary and Alice when they asked me where I had been and tucked myself into bed.

This morning I woke up as usual, brushed my hair as usual, ate chocolate pancakes and headed to the library as usual. All the while, a mini tornado was raging in my stomach.

I had been on dates before. Dates Mary and Alice set me up on and dates I had agreed to go on because the bloke looked like he would faint if I said no. But I had _never_ been on a date with James Potter or anyone even remotely like him.

When a girl is faced with such a predicament, there is only one thing she can do. I ran to the Gryffindor Tower to find Mary and Alice.

As far as friends go, I had been incredibly lucky. I had two amazing ones. Mary, the hot tempered, reckless, but fiercely loyal beater of the Gryffindor Quidditch team and Alice, the sweet, dreamy and hopeless romantic who had fallen in love at the age of seven with the guy she would eventually marry. Being with them was like always being in the company of The Good and The Bad. Mary was the one who sent a disarming charm at Sirius Black when I was hexing James Potter after he charmed my bathroom mirror to scream ' You want to snog James Potter senseless!' every time I looked into it, while Alice was the one who reversed the spell on him after I left, to make sure I didn't get any detentions.

I found them playing Exploding Snap in the common room.

"Hey, I really need to talk to you two… in private."I said, looking pointedly at the third years who were watching their game. I was panting and red from the three floor sprint I had just completed in a record ninety seconds.

They scampered away. I wonder if Dumbledore would take my 'Head Girl' badge away for terrifying third years.

"Oh my god, Lily! What happened to you? Did you get chased by Hagrid's nifflers again?" said Alice, looking genuinely concerned.

"Please tell me you didn't. Because if you did, I can't believe I missed that again." said Mary, still sour that she had missed that legendary Care of Magical Creatures lesson because she was down with Dragon Pox.

"No no, but its something worse. Much worse." I said cryptically.

"Lets go upstairs and talk." said Alice.

Mary grudgingly followed.

" I hope this isn't another attempt to get us to do the Charms essay thats due _next_ Friday." she said.

"I did that _once_! Would you just let it go?"

When we had finally settled down on our beds, they turned to look at me.

"Ok, Lily. What was the big emergency?" Alice said.

"I wasn't completely straight with you guys about where I was last night. The truth is I was with James." I said expecting them to scream or fall off the bed in surprise. Nothing like that happened. They continued looking at me as though that sort of thing happened everyday.

Ok. This was going to be harder than I thought.

"I ran into him on my way to the Great Lake. He was upset. We talked. I kissed him. We are going out today."I said. Things like this should be done fast. Like ripping off a band-aid. The muggle in me was still alive and active.

"YES! I'M RICH! I'M RICH!"

I didn't see that one coming either. Alice and I watched in shock as Mary continued her victory dance around the room, punching her fist in the air, screaming, 'I'M RICH!' like a madwoman. It took her three minutes to settle down. Or, it took me and Alice three minutes to tackle her and calm her down.

This was not how I imagined this conversation would go. While I had imagined a mature and enlightening discussion the three of us would have while we sat on our beds munching chocolate coated peanuts, somehow all three of us had ended up on the floor. I was sitting on top of Mary, pinning her to the floor, while Alice was kneeling down beside us trying to make sure Mary wasn't having trouble breathing.

"Why are you behaving like a lunatic?" I asked Mary, panting again.

"Because thanks to you, my best mate in the whole wide world, tomorrow I will add 37 galleons to my Nimbus 1500 fund!"She said, beaming despite the fact that I had reduced her oxygen supply.

That's what's wrong with these Quidditch fanatics. Nothing, not even oxygen, is more important than a top of the line broomstick in their world.

"I won the bet! I knew you guys would get together before Christmas! The rest of the team and I had a pool going." said Mary, grinning.

Did no one tell the Quidditch players at Hogwarts that you never place bets on an emotionally and mentally unstable redhead, let alone tell her about it?

After that, Mary _had _to start worrying about her oxygen supply because I more or less started choking her. It was only a well timed spell by Alice that saved her life.

"I can't believe you'd do that, Mary!"I said, still furious.

"Come on, Lily! The two of you have been dancing around it all year. Did you think the rest of us were blind?"

"For the love of Merlin, would you two just cut it out? Just settle down and let Lily explain the whole story, Mary!" said Alice, ever the mother of the trio.

And so I told them what happened. This time the conversation went more or less as I had imagined. Alice cooed and Mary grinned at all the right instants. I left out the part James mentioned about the war and his family because that felt personal. James Potter and I had personal conversations I didn't tell Mary and Alice about. The neglected tornado in my stomach announced its presence again.

"..and then I said I'll go to Hogsmeade with him today."I said, finishing my story with all its exaggerated dramatic details.

"So? What's the problem? Why aren't you getting ready to go to Hogsmeade with him?" asked Alice.

"Because I'm not sure I want to go." I mumbled.

"Why?" asked Mary.

"_Because_, it's James Potter! How on earth am I supposed to go on a date with James Potter? Six months ago I would leave the room at the very mention of his name! I became good at Charms because I practiced the nastiest ones on him! I have handed out more detentions to him and his little gang than the rest of the school put together! How can I go out on a date with the same James Potter?" I said, as my voice grew progressively shriller.

"Why didn't you think of all that before snogging him in the Greenhouse?" said Mary.

"Firstly, it was _outside_ the Greenhouse and secondly, _I don't know what I was thinking_! Merlin, I'm just as bad as the group of fifth year Hufflepuffs who get together every Wednesday to swoon over a picture of him they secretly take in the changing room after Quidditch practice!" I said. I definitely should not have said that, I realized a moment too late.

"And how would you know about that?" asked Mary, eyeing me suspiciously and cheekily at the same time.

"Because, I busted their meeting a couple of weeks ago during patrols. It was after curfew." I said, probably sounding a little too defensive.

"And what did you with the photos? Confiscate them?" asked Mary, grinning at me.

"No, I didn't! I don't know why I agreed to go on that stupid date! It's James Potter. No matter how much he might have changed, how can I forget all the crap he's pulled over the years, all the girls he's fooled around with while claiming to be in love with me?" I said.

"Lily, none of that matters anymore. He grew up. End of story. Now you can start a new story. What does matter is how you feel about him right now." said Alice.

"That's the problem. I have no idea how I feel about him."

"Well there's a simple test to solve that problem. Butterflies." said Alice, smiling smugly.

"Butterflies?" I asked, not _at all_ liking the sound of it.

"When you're with James, does it feel like you have a million butterflies in your stomach?" Alice said, with a dreamy look on her face.

Mary groaned.

"Oh, come on Alice! You cannot seriously believe that crap! Lily isn't some damsel in distress in one of your trashy romance novels. That stuff doesn't happen in real life. Tell her, Lily." Mary said, turning to me.

I would have told her.

Butterflies in my stomach?

Psshhh.

Try deranged dragons instead.

"Yeah, Alice. It doesn't happen." I think Alice saw right through that. She grinned knowingly at me.

"That's that, Lily. You are going on a date with James Potter today. When are you supposed to meet him? asked Alice.

1 hour and 36 minutes.

Merlin, help me.

**XXXXX**

I have attended a lot of classes at Hogwarts and learnt a lot more in these classes. I have learnt how to make a frog tap dance and how to make a hand carved chuppah with my wand. I have learnt how to make Mary sober again after a bad night involving Firewhiskey and how to make boggarts disappear.

But no class in Hogwarts has ever taught us students what on earth should you expect on a _3 pm_ date with your ex-mortal enemy.

Is it a lunch date? Or a dinner date? Or do you not eat on a date that begins at 3 pm?

And what in Merlin's name are you supposed to wear on a 3 pm date?

Ugh. If only James didn't have a Quidditch meeting at noon. We could've gone on our date earlier and things wouldn't have been as confusing. I would have less things to panic about.

Again, I was glad Mary and Alice were around. Alice and Frank were past the stage where she needed to spend two hours in front of a mirror to convince herself she was ready to go on a date. And Mary looked good no matter what. Besides she didn't date. At least she doesn't like to call it dating.

I decided to take a shower first.

While in the shower, I thought about all the things I hadn't said to Mary and Alice. The other thing that completely terrified me.

I knew I was different the minute I got on the train at Platform nine and three quarters back in first year. That I wasn't like little Alice Longbottom who declared that her family would disown her if she wasn't sorted into Gryffindor or Mary Macdonald who wanted to become the best Beater Hogwarts had ever seen. I didn't come from their world. I had felt out of place in our compartment, like a fish out of water, hearing them talk about dueling trolls for the sorting ceremony. Six years later, I was still trying to fit in.

Of course, back then _a friend_ had told me it didn't matter. That my parents being muggles didn't make any difference. He turned his back on me over a year ago. We haven't spoken since.

Thinking about Severus Snape always brought back a flood of memories. Memories of first year when we both danced around in delight the first time I managed to levitate a feather, or how he comforted me when I was distraught that my broomstick didn't jump into my hand in the first flying lesson like James Potter's had. Memories of a time when I hadn't heard the word Mudblood. With the memories came a wave of sadness.

Everyone has a childhood friend they lose touch with over the years. You grow up to be different people and soon you can't recognize the person your friend has turned into. For me, that friend was Severus Snape.

He was the first person who called me a witch. He was the first person to tell me stories about the magical world. He was the first person I ran to when my Hogwarts acceptance letter _finally_ arrived. He was the first person I looked for in the crowd after the Sorting Hat had yelled, 'Gryffindor!'. He was the first boy I loved. He was the first boy I kissed. He was the first boy who broke my heart.

Mary and Alice had never approved of my friendship with Severus. I had never approved of his friends. We tried to make sure that our Houses didn't get between us. He started hanging out with a bunch of guys that everyone in the school stayed away from. They tormented first years who admitted they were Muggleborns. They called me a 'Mudblood' and insulted me every chance they got. But Severus had been different. He had always been different around me. And I had always held on to the hope that he would change for me.

But a year ago, I finally accepted defeat. Severus had gone too far away from me for me to ever reach him again.

My 'Mudblood' status had finally come in between us.

Thinking back over the last couple of months, I realized James was right. Things were changing. Even here, at Hogwarts. Right under Dumbledore's nose. There were more duels in the corridors stemming from discussions on 'purebloods' and 'ancestry' than ever before. Last week alone, I had broken up six fights between Slytherins and Gryffindors. Except that they weren't fighting about being from Slytherin and Gryffindor anymore. My world was becoming dangerous.

And James Potter was dangerous.

Mary and Alice thought that the only thing that frightened me was the thought that I would be just another conquest for him or that he would break my heart.

But there were more dangerous things than that.

I thought about what James had said last night.

_Lily, if there's a war coming and my family is going to be in the middle of it, then that's where I'm going to be._

As terrified as I was that this date was just the end of a chase for James that he started six years ago, what scared me more was, what would happen if it turned out to be more than that.

What if I turned out to be another person for whom James would throw himself into a dangerous war? Because James Potter never did anything halfway. Even I, who had called him many vile names back in the day, would never call him disloyal. Never for a minute did I doubt that he meant what he had said. That even at the age of seventeen he was sure he would face the killing curse to protect the ones he loved.

The most terrifying thought of all – the half formed thought in my head that I would do the same for him.

**XXXXX**

The shower was supposed to calm me down.

It didn't do anything of that sort.

53 minutes.

Mary and Alice pounced on me the minute I got out of the shower. What followed shall not be described here.

A million outfits, Mary wand-dried my hair while Alice desperately tried to put make-up on my face, one panicky hunt for my wand and fifty minutes later, I finally went to the Common Room to look for James. I can no longer remember what I wore that day, but I still remember the look on James' face when he turned to look at me.

Both of us were early for our date.

Fighting the urge to run to him like a five year old girl running to the ice cream man, just like I had last night, I walked up to him and said-

"Hey."

**XXXXX**

_END OF CHAPTER_

_Please Read and Review!  
_


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER – I DON'T OWN ANYTHING THAT YOU RECOGNIZE.**

XXXXX

_**RECAP of CHAPTER 2**_:

_A million outfits, Mary wand-dried my hair while Alice desperately tried to put make-up on my face, one panicky hunt for my wand and forty minutes later, I finally went to the Common Room to look for James. I can no longer remember what I wore that day, but I still remember the look on James' face when he turned to look at me. _

_Both of us were early for our date._

_Fighting the urge to run to him like a five year old girl running to the ice cream man, just like I had last night, I walked up to him and said-_

"_Hey."_

XXXXX

**CHAPTER 3**

I remember my first Hogsmeade trip vividly.

I had never seen an entirely magical village before. Of course the only other magical places I'd ever been to were Diagon Alley and Hogwarts. But Hogsmeade had a different charm.

Mary and Alice knew all about Hogsmeade, of course. They wouldn't stop talking about it. It reached a point where I would have gladly sat through three hours of hearing Binns talk about Goblin Wars than hear about 'The World's Best Butterbeer' and 'Honeydukes'. Even Severus couldn't stop himself from gushing about the pewter cauldron his Mum had got for him from 'Potage's Cauldron Shop' at Hogsmeade or the books he wanted to buy from 'Tomes and Scrolls'.

When the day of the Hogsmeade trip finally arrived, we woke up to find a rainy day ahead of us. A _very_ rainy day. The Great Lake had swollen up to twice its size and it looked like the much awaited Hogsmeade would be postponed. That was before the Marauders took things into their own hands.

Back in third year, the Marauders weren't quite the pranksters they grew up to be in seventh year. But what they lacked in skill, sense, imagination, intelligence and execution, they more than made up for in spirit. They split up and got to work. Peter Pettigrew, the quite and inconspicuous one of the four, was deployed to smuggle as many carriages as he could and find someone to draw the carriages. James Potter, the transfiguration genius, retired to the library with the pumpkins he had stolen from Hagrid's garden to find a way to transfigure them into carriages, in case Peter failed to find any. Meanwhile, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black set out to find alternate routes into Hogsmeade so that if everything else failed, they would _walk_ to Hogsmeade themselves.

They were all caught within 10 minutes.

Peter ventured into a shed where Professor Sprout kept her Venomous Tentacula. He had to spend two days in the Hospital Wing after he was found unconscious by Hagrid, who had come to the shed to see where all screaming was coming from.

James on the other hand, landed himself in detention after a spell he cast _in the library_ caused an entire row of bookshelves to collapse like a row of dominoes. Madam Pince, the librarian, spent the night in the Hospital Wing in a bed beside Peter to recover from the traumatic incident.

Sirius and Remus, convinced that they had found the path leading to Hogsmeade, blasted open a door that lead them straight into Professor McGonagall's private quarters. Needless to say, she wasn't very pleased to see them in her bedroom.

The saving grace was a heart rending monologue by Sirius when he was taken to Professor Dumbledore's office. Whether Sirius' words struck a chord with Dumbledore or whether McGonagall's just wanted a _few_ hours in the castle without the Marauders, we will never know. What ever it was, five minutes later, McGonagall walked into the Great Hall with the Marauder's in tow, and announced that all the students would be going to Hogsmeade. She conjured a few dozen carpets and Professor Flitwick charmed them to levitate a few inches above the ground.

And so I spent my first day in Hogsmeade visiting 'Tomes and Scrolls' with Severus and later sipping 'The Best Butterbeer in the World' with Mary and Alice at Honeydukes and moving around on flying carpets.

XXXXX

Four years and more than two dozen trips later, Hogsmeade still held the same charm.

And I was going to Hogsmeade with James Potter this time.

We walked in silence for a while. When we finally reached the Entrance Hall, I decided to break the silence.

"So, how did your Quidditch meeting go?"

James looked relieved that I had finally said something.

"It was ok. The team looks really good now. Although, something was wrong with them today. Half the team looked really bummed out while Mary looked like the grin had been plastered on her face." James said, looking slightly puzzled.

I told him about the bet.

"Son of a..! That's it! Practice starts at six am from tomorrow!" said James.

Six AM? Wasn't that taking it a bit too far? All I did under the same circumstances was choke my best friend.

We spent the rest of the walk to village plotting ways to get back at the team. All modesty aside, with my Charms skills and his transfiguration skills, the Quidditch team didn't have a pleasant week ahead of them.

We had come up with 13 ideas by the time we reached the village.

"Where do you want to go?" asked James.

"Umm.. No where in particular. Let's just walk around for a bit"

Once we started walking, as usual the stories started pouring in.

We passed by Wiseacre's Wizarding Equipment, the magical devices shop where James told me he once bought a one of a kind magic eight ball that actually follows you around and bites you until you make sure its prediction comes true. He gifted it to Sirius for Christmas in fifth year. Sirius had asked the ball if Peter would get kissed before midnight that night. The ball had replied 'As I see it, yes!'.Sirius then proceeded to spend the rest of the day trying to get every girl in the room to kiss Peter. Finally at 11:59 when he couldn't handle the ball which was becoming more and more violent, Sirius kissed Peter himself.

They were all glad when later that night, Sirius, the epitome of maturity asked the ball, 'Is Moony really a boy?' and the ball answered, 'Without a doubt'.

When we passed by Dervish and Banges, he told me about how they had repaired his Sneakoscope after Sirius smashed it to smithereens because it wouldn't stop spinning when he 'borrowed' Remus' underwear.

And when we passed by the Headquarters of Wizarding Wireless Network, I told him about the time when Mary, after another one of her encounters with Firewhiskey, went on air and declared her undying love for Professor Dumbledore and his sparkling blue eyes. The next morning she was called into Professor McGonagall's office. It's the only time in the last six years that I have ever seen her blush.

At Zonko's we ran into Sirius.

He looked relieved to see us. He was carrying a large bag in one hand.

"Hey kids, where have you been? I've been waiting here for hours!" said Sirius.

"Lily, don't look like that. He isn't coming with us. I just asked him to meet me here and give me this bag. Sirius, get lost." James said, taking the large mysterious bag from him.

"You are trading dungbombs in the middle of our date?" I asked.

"It's not dungbombs! Bye, Sirius." said James.

Sirius took that as a cue for him to leave and he walked out of the door after giving me a military style salute.

"What's in the bag?" I asked. No amount of curiosity can kill a cat in my world.

"It's a surprise. You'll find out soon enough." He said. I hated not knowing things almost as much as I loved surprises. It was a tough battle.

I wasn't going to give in that easily. Persistence, thy name is Lily Evans.

When we passed by Dogweed and Deathcap, the Herbology shop, James suddenly stopped.

"What happened?" I asked. I had been preoccupied with the contents of the mysterious bag. I wouldn't have noticed even if Filch would have sprinted in front of us stark naked.

"The last time you and I were standing next to a lot of plants, say, a greenhouse, I ended up having a lot of fun. Just got me thinking.." he said, grinning at me.

I reached for my wand.

"I'm joking! Relax, woman!" said James, trying to stop me from reaching for my wand.

"What? I thought you wanted a repeat of last night. I was just casting a spell to make sure no one comes this way." I said, playing along.

"Really?" he said, eyes bulging.

"Sure, why not? Of course, you have to tell me what's in the bag first."

"Honestly Lily, I thought better of you. Playing with a poor bloke's heart to get to his bag? Low, really low." James said, clutching his heart in an exaggerated display of pain.

We went into Dominic Maestro's music shop after that.

James picked up a saxophone and tried playing 'God rest ye, merry hippogriffs' on it. I joined in with a tambourine. A middle aged witch looking at some French horns nearby cast a silencing spell on him. Feeling sorry for the poor bloke, I reversed the spell. He started playing 'A cauldron full of hot, strong love' and I decided to go the middle aged witch's way. A flick of my wand and the saxophone was glued to his lips.

While James was down on his knees, begging me to reverse the spell, I firmly said, "Not until you tell me what's in the bag."

Unfortunately, Frank and Alice walked in at that very moment, and Alice being Alice reversed the spell on him.

When we reached Spintwitches, the Quidditch store, James looked longing at the black leather gloves displayed on the window, while I dragged him away. When we reached Tomes and Scrolls, I looked longing at the first edition copy of 'A Charmed Life' displayed on the window, while James dragged me away.

When we passed by Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop, both of us were relieved to see that the other one was looking equally traumatized.

A little ahead of the Tea shop we ran into trouble.

Walking towards us, though they hadn't spotted as yet, were the three last people on the earth that I wanted to see at the instant.

Even on a normal day, coming face to face with Severus Snape was something I avoided like the plague. But when I was on my first date with James Potter? Drastic measures were required.

"Hey James, why don't we head back to The Three…"

"Well, well well… What do we have here?"

XXXXX

In all the seventeen years I've been alive, few things have annoyed me as much as that voice.

Lucius Malfoy.

He was a Slytherin Prefect when we were first year students. Dreaded and disliked by everyone including his fellow Slytherins, he was a sort of leader to all the nasty ones Slytherin had been producing.

He was also Severus' mentor.

He had done everything in his power to end our friendship. Convinced that it was my company that was holding Severus back from 'greatness', he made it a point to torment me at every encounter we were forced to have living in the same castle. At each of these encounter, he spewed more and more of his 'pureblood' propaganda, announcing to everyone who would listen, that I, a lowly Muggleborn was only fit to lick his shoes. Throw in a curse or two in that encounter. It sums up every conversation we have ever had.

I wonder if he knew that Severus' father was a drunken Muggle. I had never told anyone myself. It was Severus' secret to tell.

Flanking Lucius Malfoy were Severus and Regulus Black.

I don't really know what the deal with Regulus Black is. He was the spitting image of Sirius in appearance and the antithesis of Sirius by nature. Dark, brooding and quiet but with a quality that made those around him pity him, because he always looked like he was playing a part in a play.

Sirius never spoke about him and he left the room anytime anyone else spoke about him.

The Marauders consider each other to be long lost brothers. It came as no surprise therefore that James felt a little protective of Regulus Black, despite everything. However little.

And so, the first thing James did when he noticed the trio walking towards us was turn to Regulus and say,

"What are you doing with these idiots?"

Only he didn't say idiots.

That didn't settle too well with any of them.

"I thought you would have learnt your lesson by now, Potter. Your family needs to know they should choose their friends wisely. Young Regulus here, has chosen wisely. Didn't your Mum learn anything from Charles Harvey?" said Lucius.

I had to act really quickly to stop James from reaching for his wand. I knew it would end badly.

"Will you look at that, Severus! Your Mudblood lover has found herself a new Prince. Here you are still mooning after her." Lucius said, clearly enjoying himself.

Severus' face contorted into such a look of agony and hatred that I could barely recognize the boy I once knew in it. Nothing could've stopped the explosion that followed after that.

I saw the red light coming towards me. Since I held James right hand in my left, I was the only one who could've reacted in any way. I knew Severus well enough to know none of the old tricks would work on a spell he chose to cast on James.

So, I did the only thing I could think of. Pushing James away from the line of the spell, I cast a quick non verbal disarming spell at Lucius and Regulus and ducked to the side myself.

I must've missed Regulus, because a second after that I heard his voice, barely past puberty, cry, "Sectumsepra!"

I levitated a aluminum display board I spotted by the side of the road to act as a shield. Lucius' wand had fallen a few feet to my right. I caught Severus' eye as he lunged to grab the wand from the floor. A pain that had nothing to do with any spell shot through me.

A moments distraction.

I had let my guard down. A streak of blue light knocked me off my feet and I flew back into the air. I saw three more spells rushing towards me before I hit the ground. But a shield suddenly appeared in front of me, a nanosecond after I saw a familiar mop of hair and a drawn wand underneath it.

A few more flashes of light and then with a swish of their robes, the three of them disapparated.

XXXXX

"Maybe we should've just gone to Madam Puddifoot's. We could've avoided _this_." James said, as he walked towards me, offering me a hand up.

"Oh come on, I'd rather do this any day." I said, dusting my skirt.

"Lily, are you alright?" he asked. The concern in his was voice was almost frightening.

"Yeah, I'm alright. My left arms a little sore because I landed on it. Just another sign that I should give up those Chocolate Frogs soon."

"Cowards, I can't believe they disapparated! They must've taken Regulus sidelong. I didn't even recognize some of the spells he was throwing at us!" James said seething.

"Yeah, well they probably huddle together in their Common Room and learn these dark spells."I said, dryly.

"When did you get so good at non verbal spells?"

"James, don't flatter me. If I were that good, I wouldn't have ended up on my butt."

"It was three against one! And I'm sorry it was that way. I should've been more vigilant." he said.

"Hey, let's stop talking about this. We both did everything we could. I don't want to hear anymore of this macho nonsense. Now tell me what's in the bag. I hope it wasn't anything breakable, because that was a pretty nasty fall." I said.

James laughed.

"Okay okay, you've earned it now. Let's go."

"What you can't show it to me here?" I asked.

"No."

"Oooh, is it a costume of some sort?" I was trying to distract myself from what had just happened.

"No."

"Is it a portkey that will take us Venice?"

"No."

"Somewhere closer? Surrey, maybe?"

"No."

"Is it a.. "

"NO! But we're here."

Between trying really hard to forget about the attack and annoying James with my guessing game, I hadn't noticed where we were going. We had walked towards the edge of the village, way up the High Street reaching the foot of the mountain overlooking Hogsmeade. James was leading me up a rocky and winding path that lead to the top of the mountain. We walked for about ten more minutes when we reached a clearing. Making his way to the end of the clearing, James started on another path, this one narrower than the one before. Only one of us could walk at a time. It looked like it was circumcising the mountain. I had to ask.

"Where on earth are we going?"

"You'll see. Just a little longer. I wanted to get here earlier but things got in the way."

"No offense, but this is the weirdest date I've ever been on." I said.

"Well, you've never been on a James Potter date before." he said, grinning at me.

"What you get all your dates here?" I asked, trying really hard, but failing to keep the jealousy out of my voice.

"No, only the ones who wear Quidditch shoes on a date." he said, his grin widening.

"It looked like it might rain! I didn't want to ruin any of my other shoes. These were the only ones Mary would let me borrow."

"I'm not complaining! If you hadn't worn them, it would have been harder to bring you here and show you this."

We had reached another clearing. The view was breathtaking.

The clearing, which was on a cliff, overlooked Hogwarts. We could see the entire castle from up there. The glistening lake, the Quidditch pitch, the grounds, Hagrid's Hut, everything was beautiful under the twilight sun.

"James, this is wonderful. How did you find this place?" I asked turning to face him.

But he wasn't standing next to me.

He was a couple of feet behind me, spreading out a blanket he had just removed from the bag, on the grass beside him.

"You planned a picnic?" I asked, disbelievingly.

"What else can you possibly do on a date that begins at 3 pm? So I thought, why not a picnic? And hey, it was my fault we had to leave at 3" he said, almost defensively.

I decided to let the guy off the hook.

"I'm glad you had a meeting. Because now we're out on a picnic." I said, grinning widely.

"Technically, it's not a picnic. Considering all I got was butterbeer and Chocolate Frogs. I noticed you like those a lot. I had to send Sirius to get the Butterbeer. That's why he had the bag."

"Perfect." Aah.. More Chocolate Frogs. Just when I had run through my own supply.

He handed me one of the bottles of butterbeer he was holding.

We settled down on the blanket, leaning on one of the rocks.

James turned to look at me. He looked serious.

"Lily, maybe this is too much to ask, but I sort of have to try. Can you not mention this to anyone?"

"What, you mean this picnic?" I asked, a little surprised.

"No, I mean the attack. I know you tell Mary and Alice everything. But just this once, maybe you could keep this to yourself?" he asked, almost pleading.

"Why? Are you worried they'll get into trouble if Dumbledore finds out?"

"No! I don't want Sirius to find out about this."

" Because of his brother? I thought they don't talk to each other."

"Sirius' relationship with his family is complicated. And I think its best we keep this to ourselves." I didn't like the finality in his tone.

"You're going to have to explain a bit more than that." I said.

"Sirius is nothing like his family. They are all a bunch of pureblood maniacs, who have a very archaic idea of what a pureblood heir is supposed to behave like and Sirius doesn't live up to it. Anyone in his family who is halfway decent or even associates with Muggles is disowned right away. Sirius sort of went along with it till he got to Hogwarts thought he never approved of any of it. When he got sorted into Gryffindor, all hell broke loose. His parents actually turned up the next day, demanding Dumbledore to resort Sirius. After that Sirius broke free. He pretty much didn't bother with them after that. They abused him. He ran away from home the summer before last. He's been living with me ever since."

"I had no idea." I was thinking of all the times I had called Sirius spoilt and arrogant.

"He doesn't like people knowing about it but he has strange ways of acting out. Regulus and he were close as kids. All of it ended when Sirius came to Hogwarts. Sirius became the black sheep of the Black family, while Regulus became the heir. But you can never completely break free from your family, you know? It stills bother Sirius, that Regulus didn't follow in his footsteps. Two months ago when Regulus was caught hexing a second year Muggleborn, Sirius drunk himself into such a state that night..well it wasn't pretty. And if he hears that Regulus is hanging out with Lucius Malfoy.. "

" What's the big deal? He's in Slytherin. He's around people like Malfoy all the time."

"Lily, Malfoy isn't just some old Slytherin who is coming back to reminisce about his school days. Dumbledore thinks he's with the guy who's been causing all the trouble over the last year. Malfoy is suddenly more powerful and influential in the Ministry and Dumbledore thinks Malfoy is being used as a mole in the Ministry. If he's here talking to Snape and Regulus its most likely that he's here recruiting."

"Recruiting? Come on , James. Listen to yourself. What could a guy who is trying to dominate the Wizarding World want with a fifth year boy?"

"Because Regulus is the key to the Black family. And many of the other pureblood families will follow their lead. They are very influential even though most of the people in our world think their crazy." James said, looking resigned.

"So you think Regulus is being recruited into some pureblood propaganda or war or something. And you don't want Sirius to know about it?" I asked.

"Yes."

"James, I get it. You want to protect Sirius. But don't you think he has the right to know? Maybe he can get through to Regulus. Maybe this is his chance to repair things with his brother." I said, trying to reason with him.

"Lily, you and I cannot even begin to understand what he has to deal with when it comes to his family. It's his brother and at one point that meant something to both of them. They haven't spoken since he came to Hogwarts. He is not going to get through to him. It'll just torment him. Neither of us know what that's like so maybe we should just let sleeping dogs lie."

I couldn't believe he was saying this. I couldn't believe he wouldn't even try to help Sirius get his brother back.

"And what makes you think I don't know what that's like?" I said, furiously.

"You're Lily Evans! You come from the perfect family. You have parents who send you enough Christmas presents for the pile to reach the top of the tree!"

"Did you know I also have a sister? A sister, who I haven't spoken to either since I came to Hogwarts unless the word 'freak' dominated the conversation?"

I hated talking about Petunia. James looked taken aback.

"My sister never got over the fact that I was witch while she wasn't. She hates me for it. She engaged in February and I found out about it only during the summer, when her oaf of a fiancé turned up at home for dinner! Trust me James, if I had a chance to make things right with her, I'll grab it with both hands. I don't think Sirius will feel too differently about it either."

As though mirroring my mood, the sun had set completely too.

XXXXX

"Lily, I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

"It's okay. It's not something I like talking about either. I guess Sirius and I have that in common."

"It's strange though, isn't it? We live 50 feet away from each other, yet we know so little about each other." James said, looking at the castle.

"Yeah."

"And you're right. I should tell Sirius. He can decide what he wants to do after that." Said James.

"Yeah."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. It's getting kind of late. We should head back." I said, getting up.

"Yeah, you're right."

He flicked his wand and everything packed itself into his bag neatly. I took my own wand out and said, 'Lumos'. James had lit up his own wand ages ago. At least one of us had our head in the right place.

The evening felt incomplete. A lot of things had been said but a lot more had been left unsaid. I decided to scratch one of those things off the list.

"James, wait a minute." I called out to him.

He turned to look at me, his glasses reflecting the light coming from his wand. His eyes were sparkling. That night I saw brown.

"Despite how things turned out towards the end, I'm really glad we did this. I had a great time and I'm really happy we got to know each other better today and I really like you. I hope today hasn't scared you off and that we can do this again sometime." I said, the Gryffindor courage finally showing itself.

It seemed like an eternity had passed before he spoke next.

"I really like you too." He smiled widely at me.

This time he closed the gap between us and kissed me.

This time neither of us pulled back.

This time I didn't think about Chocolate Frogs or pumpkin juice, all I thought about was him, me and everything we were becoming.

XXXXX

_END OF CHAPTER_


	4. Chapter 4

**_RECAP OF CHAPTER 3_**

_"Despite how things turned out towards the end, I'm really glad we did this. I had a great time and I'm really happy we got to know each other better today and I really like you. I hope today hasn't scared you off and that we can do this again sometime." I said, the Gryffindor courage finally showing itself._

_It seemed like an eternity had passed before he spoke next._

_"I really like you too." He smiled widely at me._

_This time he closed the gap between us and kissed me._

_This time neither of us pulled back._

_This time I didn't think about Chocolate Frogs or pumpkin juice, all I thought about was him, me and everything we were becoming._

**CHAPTER 4**

The day kept getting stranger after that. By the time we reached the Entrance Hall dinner had already ended. We headed to the Gryffindor Tower. James met a few friends from the Ravenclaw Quidditch team and decided to go to the kitchens with them.

I entered the Common Room alone. It was empty except for a few fifth years finishing some essays and Mary. She was sitting on the armchair next to the fireplace. I walked up to her.

"How come you're still up?"

She looked startled to hear my voice.

"I was waiting for you." She said. There was something in her voice that I couldn't place.

"Oh, you didn't have to."

"So how did the big date go?" she asked. The question felt like some sort of a test.

"It was okay." I didn't want to get into the whole thing tonight.

"Did anything interesting happen?"

"Yeah, I had a great time."

"So are you saying you and James didn't get attacked by Lucius Malfoy today? Or that you had a great time being attacked?"

How was I supposed to get out of that one?

"_Lucius Malfoy_ didn't attack me!"

She narrowed her eyes at me.

"Regulus Black did."

"Lily, I.."

"How on earth do you know about it?"

"Amos Diggory saw it happen. Bloody coward, didn't even try to help you guys out."

"Oh. He told you about it?"

"No, he told Julia Gold from Hufflepuff. She told a few people and it reached me."

Yes, the Hogwarts grapevine was to blame.

"Yes, it happened. James and I took care of it." I said, standing up and hoping the conversation was over.

Lady luck didn't seem to like me too much.

"Lily, do you have any idea what you are getting into? You cannot continue crossing Lucius Malfoy for the thrill of it like you did back in third year. It wasn't funny back then and it definitely isn't funny now!" she said, looking slightly mad.

"I did not initiate the fight! I was the one holding James back when Severus sent a spell our way!"

"So it comes back to Severus Snape doesn't it? Lily, why won't you just let him go? He's not worth your time! He's pure evil! Have you forgotten what Mulciber did to me back in fifth year?" she said. Mary never mentioned that incident.

"It wasn't about Severus, Mary. And I'm not trying to become friends with him again or anything. He just sort of lost it when he saw James and me together." I said.

"Okay."

"Come on, Mary. These things happen. We have gotten into tons of fights with Slytherins before. Not as bad as the one with Mulciber back in fifth year but definitely worse than today! There's no need to worry so much."

"Lily, things have changed since then."

I felt a hint of déjà vu. I was sick of hearing people say 'things have changed'. Yet, I was curious. How did Mary know about these things?

"What are you talking about?"

"I didn't mention this to anyone. I didn't want to sound paranoid. Things are getting a bit weird lately in the Wizarding world. Some say it's the same as Grindelwald in Germany only this time it's happening here."

I felt the same chills return.

"James mentioned it too."

"Yeah, he would know about it. The Potters would be involved if something like that was happening." she said.

"How did you hear about it?" I asked her for the second time that night.

"Do you remember Gideon and Fabian Prewett? Back when we were in first year?"

"Yeah, weren't they in the same year as your brother Matthew? The two maniacal Gryffindor beaters who broke Jerry Mclaggen's nose with a beater bat?"

"Yeah. They came to visit Matt over the summer. They were asking him to join something called the 'Order of Phoenix'. Apparently Dumbledore's putting people together to figure out what's happening out there, because the Ministry is refusing to see something's not right. Since Matt works for the Ministry, they think he'd be useful." she said.

It was the second time in two days I had heard someone use that tone. It was a tone that revealed fear and pride for a loved one.

"What did he say? Did he join them?"

"He said he would let them know. That night he locked himself in his room for a long time. He looked resolved when he finally came out. So I'm guessing he agreed. With Dad gone, I guess he thinks it's his job to look out for the family. Stupid male ego." she said. Mary had lost her father in third year.

"And you think Lucius Malfoy is involved somehow?"

"If he isn't already involved, it won't be too long before he does get involved."

The fire had almost died out. The few fifth years who were left behind were also packing up their things.

"Lily, promise me one thing. I know you are the brightest witch in our year and you are Head Girl. But please look after yourself. And stay away from Severus Snape. Please." she pleaded.

Before I could answer her, the portrait door opened and we heard two people stumbling in.

Looking up, we saw that it was Sirius Black and Elizabeth Herron wrapped around each other.

XXXXX

Elizabeth Herron was the fourth Gryffindor girl in our year. She had been my best mate in the beginning of first year, while Mary and Alice had kept to themselves. That was until she told everyone in our year that I thought Amos Diggory had nice hair. When you are eleven years old, that's as bad as sending a Cruciatus curse your way. I took the 'betrayal' hard. Mary and Alice came to my rescue. They announced at dinner that they too thought Amos Diggory had nice hair. After that, most of the girls in my year had eyes only for Amos Diggory and Mary and Alice became my best mates.

She was one of those girls who never had best mates, just lot of ordinary mates. Blokes, mainly. She wasn't spiteful or catty; she just wasn't the kind of girl who needed someone to lean on. She never apologized to me about the Amos Diggory incident because she never thought she had to.

No one was surprised in fourth year when she and Sirius Black hooked up. Two people as unrestrained and promiscuous as those two belonged together. Only, they broke up a week later following the epic Battle in the Common Room 1. That was followed by many such incidents. People got bored and lost count after thirty two.

"Ugh, I guess she got over him cheating on her with Amelia. James is going to be cranky tomorrow morning at practice because he won't get any sleep tonight. Great, just great." She said sourly, as we watched Sirius and Elizabeth make their way up to the dormitories.

"Hasn't either of them heard of Silencing Charms?" I asked. Sharing a room with three or four other people forces you to lay some ground rules.

"No, I guess neither of them has heard of patience or control."

I laughed and watched as Mary made her way to the stairs.

"Mary?"

She stopped and looked at me.

"I promise I'll be careful."

XXXXX

Sunday was usually the day that began at noon for most Hogwarts students. Except of course the Quidditch maniacs. So, at fifteen minutes past one when I finally made my down to the Common Room, it was so crowded that it took me a while to spot Mary and Alice.

"There you are, Lily! We were just about to come upstairs and wake you up." Alice said, making her way towards me. Mary was right behind her.

"Come on, we want to hear everything. Tell us." she said, excitedly.

I looked at Mary. She was looking at two fifth years playing Exploding Snap but I was sure I saw her shake her head. For whatever reason, Mary hadn't told Alice about the attack. I decided to follow her lead.

"I'll tell you over lunch. Let's go, I'm starving." I said, eager to go the Great Hall and hopefully see James.

I was almost out of the portrait hole when a hand grabbed my arm from behind in a death grip. I turned to see Sirius Black looking at me with a look he usually gave Slytherins after a series of fouls during a Quidditch final.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" he said in a voice that clearly said it wasn't a question but a demand.

"Let go of me, you idiot!" I said.

He gave me my shoulder back.

"I just need five minutes. Upstairs. Alone." he said, looking at Mary and Alice.

I told Mary and Alice I'd meet them at the Great Hall and I followed Sirius up the stairs to his room.

I had been to the Marauder's room once before back in third year to look for my missing essay on 'Eating habits of Flobberworms' convinced that Sirius had stolen it. On entering the room, I had realized that I would be better of rewriting the whole thing. I'm not the neatest person on the planet but even I found the overwhelming stench of unwashed socks unbearable. The room hadn't changed much since then.

Parchments with illegible writing and drawings on it, prank schemes most likely, and clothes littered the floor. The beds too, had about one square inch free space on all of them put together. I think the one with the Puddlemere United bedspreads was James' bed. Not having the courage to make my way to it past all the garbage strewn on the floor, I sat on the closest bed. Then I decided it was better to stand.

Sirius had been watching me all the while with narrowed eyes. He still looked furious.

"What did you want to tell me?" I asked, trying to get the whole thing over with.

"Just who the hell do you think you are?" he barked at me. I think the window cracked a bit.

"Excuse me?" I said, having no idea where this was coming from.

"You think your sister calling you a freak a couple of times makes you an expert in solving family problem? That your little sibling rivalry with your sister is the same as my brother throwing the dark curses at me? What right do you have to tell James or me what we should do about _my_ brother? Or judge him for wanting me to stay out of it?" he said.

I was shocked.

"I just thought you'd want to know. It's your brother, Sirius! And James had no right to tell you about my problems with Petunia! I told him that in confidence! It was supposed to stay between the two of us!" I said, my eyes beginning to sting a little.

"And my problems with my family were between the two of us! Actually it doesn't even concern him. And it definitely doesn't concern some miss goodie two shoes who thinks she knows everything and voices her opinion on everything just because she gets a few good grades!" said Sirius.

I reached for my wand, but he was too quick for me. He was fuelled by his anger.

It flew across the room and landed at his feet.

"He tries so hard to impress you, it's pathetic! He thinks you want an ideal guy. And now he's talking about joining some 'war' and 'protecting his family no matter' what and fighting for the 'light' whatever that is! He probably thinks that's the only way to get you. Lily, if he gets himself killed or even hurt because of this, I swear…"

"Has it ever occurred to you that all those things he's saying might just be because he's growing up finally? Or that maybe I'm as scared of everything he's saying as you are? Or that he might actually be right?" I said, not letting him finish his threat.

"Bullshit, I always knew it was a mistake to let James go out with you!"

"_Let_ James go out with me?" I said, so furious that my voice was shaking.

"You think he would continue to see you if the rest of us were against it? James was always a Marauder first! I don't know what goes on in his head when it comes to you! He got it into his head that you were the perfect woman for him back in third year and he can't get over it. Dumbass! I only let him go out with you last night because I was hoping he'd see that you weren't so bloody _special _after all." he said, viciously.

This time I was the one driven by my anger.

He didn't see it coming. Wizards often make that mistake. They ignore the easier and more obvious (to me at least) Muggle methods of duelling.

I heard a crunching sound as my fist made contact with Sirius' nose. He doubled over in pain. I saw blood on his robes and felt no remorse. I bent down to grab my wand.

"You have no idea what kind of people you are dealing with. You weren't brought up among these people. Stay out of it, Lily. I'm warning you." I heard him mumble through the hand that was covering his nose and mouth.

"Trust me; I am going to stay out of your business. And James' way too for that matter. You don't have to _protect_ him anymore!" I said, storming out of the room.

I ran down the stairs. I couldn't decide if I was more angry or sad. It looked like my relationship with James, or whatever it was, had ended even before it had properly begun.

XXXXX

I had lost my appetite. I decided to head back to my room and think for a while.

When I went back upstairs, I realized I wasn't alone. I had noticed that Elizabeth's bed was occupied when I had left the room earlier that afternoon but I hadn't noticed that her body was shaking.

"Elizabeth, what's wrong?" I said, making my way to her cautiously.

"Nothing." she said, pulling the sheets above her head.

"Come on. Tell me what's wrong." I said, sitting down beside her on her bed.

She pulled the sheets down again and I saw her face. There were boils all over. Boils like that weren't caused by allergies or bacteria.

"Who did this to you?" I asked.

"Madam Pomfrey said she can't get rid of it. They will fade away on their own in a few weeks hopefully." she said, her voice breaking. A few weeks with hideous boils all over her face is nothing short of hell for a girl like Elizabeth Herron.

"Elizabeth, who did this to you?"

"Sirius effing Black!" she screamed, sitting up suddenly.

I almost fell off the bed.

"What?"

"Last night, he was perfectly fine! This morning, he comes back from Quidditch practice, looking absolutely mad calling you all sorts of names! I told him to stuff it, because some of the stuff he said was absolutely vile! Then, the bastard hexes me, and storms out!" she said, starting to sob again.

My mood only got worse. Add guilt to the list of emotions I was battling. She had gotten the boils trying to defend me.

"Elizabeth, listen to me. Stop crying. The guy's a prick. And I _will_ find a way to make this right." I said, meaning what I said.

I got up. I had a few things to say to James Potter first.

XXXXX

_END OF CHAPTER 4_

**Please read and review**


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Note -__One of my readers pointed out to me that Voldemort was already active by the Lily and James were in fifth year and that everyone in the Wizarding World was aware of it.(The Prince's Tale, book7). I'm sorry to say I missed it. To any ardent Harry Potter fans out there who were put off by my mistake, I'm particularly sorry. At this point, I cannot change anything since it's vital to my plot. I hope you guys stick around anyway. _

_**RECAP OF CHAPTER 4**_

_"Elizabeth, who did this to you?"_

_"Sirius effing Black!" she screamed, sitting up suddenly._

_I almost fell off the bed._

_"What?"_

_"Last night, he was perfectly fine! This morning, he comes back from Quidditch practice, looking absolutely mad calling you all sorts of names! I told him to stuff it, because some of the stuff he said was absolutely vile! Then, the bastard hexes me, and storms out!" she said, starting to sob again._

_My mood only got worse. Add guilt to the list of emotions I was battling. She had gotten the boils trying to defend me._

_"Elizabeth, listen to me. Stop crying. The guy's a prick. And I__will__find a way to make this right." I said, meaning what I said._

_I got up. I had a few things to say to James Potter first._

**CHAPTER 5**

"One…two…three…" I mumbled, keeping count of the number of times I was stirring the potion clockwise. I would have to add an anti-clockwise stir every fifth clockwise stir.

The dungeon was becoming unbearably hot. My shirt was drenched with sweat. The brown fumes from my potion were making my eyes water. My hair was a mess, my back hurt because I had been bending over the cauldron for four hours straight and my hands hurt because I had been stirring the cauldron for almost fifteen minutes now. The consistency_ still_ wasn't right.

Ten minutes later, I finally gave up. I flicked my wand and emptied the cauldron. I would have to start again. For the third time.

I was trying to find a cure for Elizabeth's boils.

I felt responsible for her current state and I had to do something about it. After leaving Elizabeth in the room, I had gone on a wild goose chase all around the castle. I couldn't find James anywhere. I needed to get the anger and fury out of my sister. After swearing a bit and firing a few curse into thin air in an empty classroom, I decided to put all my pent up energy to better use.

I headed to the library and issued about a dozen Potions textbooks and spell modifications books. I then headed to the dungeons.

Five hours later, I still hadn't found anything. But after each attempt, I was getting closer.

I pulled out the leech juice to pour out three potions of it into my cauldron. I had a long evening, and possibly a longer night ahead of me.

XXXXX

Two hours, and three more attempts later, I was close to tears. I was exhausted and famished. I hadn't eaten anything since the Chocolate Frogs James and I had shared yesterday evening. I felt a pang of sadness when I thought of James.

Almost as though he was waiting for his cue, ten seconds later, he showed up.

"Hi." he said, cautiously.

I didn't respond. I was too tired to fight.

"I got you some food. Mary and Alice told me you haven't eaten all the day. They are worried about you. They said you disappeared before lunch." he said, offering me one of the sandwiches he had taken out his bag.

"I'm not hungry." I said. My traitorous stomach decided that was the right moment to growl loudly.

"Lily, you're mad at me. And you have every reason to be, I get that. But please just eat something first. Please sit down, let's talk." he said.

I couldn't argue with that. I took the sandwich he was offering me.

"So I guess you spoke to Sirius today." he said, clearly trying hard to find a way to approach the sensitive topic.

"Define _spoke_." I said, not even attempting to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

"He had to go to the Hospital Wing to fix his nose. Remus told me he was in a bad shape." James said.

"He was yelling at me! Then he disarmed me! What was I supposed to do, grovel at his feet?" I said, my anger returning slowly as my stomach was becoming fuller.

"I'm not accusing you. The state Sirius was in this morning, I'm sure he had it coming. I'm just trying to understand what's going on. I haven't seen him since after practice this morning. No one has seen him after he left the Hospital Wing. I need to hear what happened from one of you." he said, desperately.

So, I helped him _understand_ what happened.

"Is that why you're here? You're trying to find a way to help Elizabeth out?" he asked.

I was surprised despite my anger.

"How did you guess that?"

"Because, I know you."

A few hours ago that sentence would have made me skip around the room. Now, it only made me feel worse.

"Lily, firstly I want to apologize. I should never have told Sirius about what you told me regarding you and your sister. I don't know what I was thinking. I shouldn't have even mentioned that you were the one who talked me into telling him about Regulus."

"James, none of this makes any difference. I…"

"No, please Lily, just hear me out. When I told Sirius about the attack this morning after practice, he pretty much lost it. He cares about Regulus much more than he lets on and definitely more than what he wants any of us to know. And when Sirius gets mad, he has no idea what he says or does. We almost came to blows this morning. I had to take his wand from him and physically restrain him at one point. After that, I was talking just to distract him. I mentioned that I didn't want him to know about it and that you made me change my mind. I didn't think he'd fixate on what I said. He started screaming about how you had no idea what you were talking about and I was trying to defend you, I guess. He just needed someone to blame and you were an easy target."

"I'm an easy target? What kind of an explanation is that, James?" I said. The conversation seemed pointless.

"I don't expect you to forgive me right away, Lily. Just think about what I said. And I also want you to know that Sirius is not a bad guy. He didn't mean any of the things he said, I'm sure of it. It's just his way of acting out. He's probably out there right now, drinking himself into a mad state out of remorse over what he did to you and Elizabeth. He just gets a bit mad sometimes, I think he inherited that one thing from the Blacks. Too much inbreeding, I think, is the problem." he said, looking at me to see if I liked the joke.

I wasn't in the mood to humour him.

"How does that make it okay? He's upset so he can do or say anything he sees fit? In what universe is that fair?" I asked incredulously.

"I'm not saying what he did was right. I'm sure he's going to walk up to you tomorrow and apologize. Let me make it up to you. Please, Lily." he pleaded.

I still wasn't fine with everything that had happened. But, my fury had subsided.

"Let me help you out with this potion." he said.

"Do you know how to modify potions?" I asked.

"No, but I can measure stuff you ask me to." He said, hopefully.

"I think I prefer working alone."

"Alright." he said, dejectedly. I hadn't expected him to give in that easily.

Leaving the sandwiches on a stool beside me, he said 'Bye' and left.

XXXXX

The dungeon was silent again. I got back to my work. The sandwiches had helped. I felt better.

I thought about what James had said.

Sirius had always been the reckless one, the rebel. I had always thought he was obnoxious. Black hair, grey-blue eyes, disgustingly good looking, he always looked like he had it all. You couldn't be _that_ full of yourself and sure of yourself without being born with a silver spoon. But apparently the silver spoon came with iron shackles in Sirius' case. I couldn't associate the firewhiskey drinking, fart noise making Sirius Black I knew with the boy who came from an abusive home.

But none of that justified his behaviour. That much I was still sure of.

When I was working on my ninth attempt, stirring in a five point star shape, I suddenly felt like someone was watching me. Looking up, I saw Severus Snape standing near the door.

I froze.

"What do you want?" I said, my voice sounding squeaky.

"You put in way too many scarab beetles."

I had added four ingredients after the scarab beetles.

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked, my voice sounding more normal this time.

"All you need to add after this is some knotgrass to reverse the effects of the excessive beetles and then add five portions of daisy root." he said.

After that he was gone.

Five minutes later, I had the cure bottled up in a flask. I wasn't sure if Severus had been a figment of imagination created by my exhausted mind or he had actually helped me out.

I was just glad I could finally leave the dungeon.

I decided to grab some dinner before heading to the Gryffindor Tower.

The Great Hall had mostly cleared out by then. I quickly ate something and rushed to the Gryffindor Tower when I was done.

I ran up the stairs to reach my room.

"Lily!"

Mary looked relieved to see me. She and Alice were sitting on my bed, clearly waiting for me to turn up. I walked to Elizabeth's bed.

"Elizabeth?" I whispered, nudging her to wake her up.

"Hmm.."

"Hey, wake up. It's me, Lily. I think this potion will help you."

That made her sit up at once.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

I nodded.

"Bottoms up?"

I smiled.

She took the flask from me and gulped down the potion in one go. Her faith in me wasn't ill founded. The potion worked its wonders. Her face started clearing with five seconds. She ran to the mirror.

"I can't believe it! It worked. Lily, thank you so much! You did this all by yourself?"

"With a little help from a…someone." I said. I couldn't bring myself to say 'friend'.

"Well. Let 'someone' know I'm really grateful. I'm heading out to the kitchens now. Do you want me to get you something?" she asked, already back to her usual self.

"No, I just ate."

She left the room.

"Lily, what on earth is going on?"

Alice sounded extremely confused. I had a lot of explaining to do. And Mary and Alice deserved to know everything.

I sat down on my bed and started talking.

XXXXX

I was sitting on the armchair by the fireplace, watching the fire die out.

After a really long discussion with Mary and Alice, I had been exhausted. We dissected every part of every conversation I had that day. Finally, Alice had fallen asleep mid-sentence. Mary too decided to go to bed to bed after that. I was thinking way too much to fall asleep, so I headed down to the Common Room.

It was empty. I guess most people had turned in early. Class started early on Monday mornings.

I used to come down and watch the fire die out quite often before seventh year. But this year had been hectic and confusing. I hadn't gotten the chance to just watch the dancing flames all year.

I must've dozed off at some point. Because the next thing I remember is Remus Lupin trying to pick me up.

He wasn't doing a very good job. When I first woke up, I thought it was a strange figure trying to strangle me. So I did the only logical thing a person does when they think they are about to be strangled. I started screaming.

"Merlin, Lily, will you calm down! It's me, Remus!" he said, covering my mouth with his hand.

I felt a little stupid.

"What in Merlin's name where you trying to do?" I asked.

"I was trying to pick you up. I thought I'd move you to the couch and make you lie down so you would me more comfortable." he said, sheepishly.

That's as complete an introduction to Remus Lupin as anyone can ever give you. Kind, chivalrous, genial and apologetic all the time, even when he had no reason to be.

"You didn't have to do that. You could've just woken me up." I said, moving to make a little room for him to sit down on the armrest.

'You looked exhausted and I know you had a rough day. I didn't want to disturb you." He said, settling down on the armrest.

"So you heard, huh?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Which part? The one where you punched the living daylights out of Sirius or the part where you won 'Potion maker of the year' award?" he said, smiling at me.

I had the modesty to blush.

"Because, I'm proud of you either way." he said, still smiling.

Remus Lupin was the only Marauder I had ever gotten along with. Before this year, of course. We went out one date back in fifth year. I had asked him and he had said yes, almost without meaning to. At the end of the date he told me he couldn't go out with me anymore. As much fun as the date had been, he just couldn't do that to James, he had said. We hadn't told anyone about our date, knowing that it would only Remus' friendship with James, if he found out about it.

I had kept another secret for Remus Lupin.

He was a werewolf.

I had figured it out in fifth year, when we had been asked to write an essay on werewolves. Remus had always been mysteriously ill or away once every month. And every time he returned, he always looked awful. Once I had figured it out, I couldn't believe it had taken me that long to figure it out. I had never told anyone, not even Mary and Alice. Werewolf or not, Remus was one of the nicest people I knew. He didn't deserve the prejudice that came with the werewolf tag.

I think the other Marauders knew about Remus. I had heard James joke about it being Remus' 'time of the month' once around full moon. It was one of the things I admired about the boys. Whatever the origins of the loyalty had been, if they were sticking together despite knowing that one of them turned into a monster beyond anyone's control once a month, it was definitely worth it. I would have done the same for Mary and Alice.

I had never told Remus that I knew about his condition. It seemed unnecessary.

"Where were you anyway?" I asked, trying to remember if it was around full moon.

"I had to pick up Sirius from the Hog's Head. The bartender owled me saying he was creating a scene. He passed out on our way back to the castle. I just left him on his bed." he said, also watching the last of the flames.

"Why didn't James go with you?"

"He's mad at Sirius. He thinks Sirius needs to go through this process to make up for what he has done."

"I don't understand what goes on between those two. One minute James is defending Sirius and the next minute he's refusing to rescue him from a bar?"

Remus laughed.

"Firstly, Sirius didn't have to be 'rescued'. The rest of the customers were just tired of hearing him sing. Secondly, that's just how those two are. They watch each other's back but shove each other around a bit while doing it." He said, attempting to explain his best friends' behaviour.

"I don't think I want to get in the middle of all this madness. Despite everything, their friendship is legendary. Now, they are fighting and I'm one of the reasons. Maybe I should just bow out before I cause more damage." I said.

"Lily, I think you should let James decide who he wants and does not want in his life. If Sirius has a problem with it, he has to deal with it. He'll come around eventually. I don't even think he really has a problem with you. Just the idea of you."

"What do you mean?"

"He thinks that you're taking James away from him. That the James he was friends with and he played pranks with is gone because you didn't want that James. He holds you responsible for the changes he sees and dislikes in James. James tried telling him about what was actually wrong but he wouldn't listen. That's what they are fighting about."

"But, if I'm with James, I have to deal with Sirius too, don't I?" I asked, almost whining.

Remus laughed.

"Yes, you will. James and Sirius are ultimately a package deal. And Lily, trust me, it's a good deal. Last year, Sirius did something that I thought was unforgivable. I didn't see us ever getting past that. I had pretty much cut him off completely from my life after that. But when he finally came to his senses, he felt awful about what he had done. He spent over a month trying to make it up to me in every medium he could think of. It wasn't pretty. I had to let him back in and I have never regretted doing it."

I think he was referring to the incident involving Snape. I never found out what really happened. All I remembered was that one morning I heard from Julia Gold that Snape was being taken to St. Mungo's and Sirius was in the Headmaster's Office getting expelled. Worried sick over Snape's well being, I had pretty much neglected to find out what happened to Sirius.

"Ultimately, Lily, it comes down to one thing." he said, looking at me earnestly. I didn't like his tone though. He was saying it in the same tone one uses while telling a really old Alzheimer's patient that they had already watered the plants four times that day.

"What?"

"How far are you willing to go to be with James? Only you know that. All I know is he'd go to the moon on a unicorn to be with you." With that last word of advice, Remus left.

The last of the flames also died out.

XXXXX

_End of Chapter_

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	6. Chapter 6

_**RECAP OF CHAPTER 5**_

_"Ultimately, Lily, it comes down to one thing." he said, looking at me earnestly. I didn't like his tone though. He was saying it in the same tone one uses while telling a really old Alzheimer's patient that they had already watered the plants four times that day._

_"What?"_

_"How far are you willing to go to be with James? Only you know that. All I know is he'd go to the moon on a unicorn to be with you." With that last word of advice, Remus left._

_The last of the flames also died out._

XXXXX

**CHAPTER 6**

I had trouble sleeping that night. Despite having spent seven years sleeping in the same room as Mary, I still wasn't used to her cacophonous snoring. I had learnt the hard way that Silencing Charms were about as effective as an overused pillow to muffle the sounds of her troll-like snoring. Alice and I had spent most of our mornings over the last few years trying to come up with a cure for Mary's snoring.

We hadn't succeeded. I spent yet another night trying to block out the noise by pulling a pillow over my head. The raging thunderstorm outside didn't help.

I did doze off once around 4 AM when Mary had finally turned to sleep on her stomach. My over active and bizarre subconscious mind still didn't let me rest. I dreamt that I was in the playground at the end of my street. Petunia and I had spent many hours there playing and giggling together in ways only children can. It was where I met Severus for the first time. I saw him there again that night.

James was there too. He was helping me finish my potion. I would ask him for some ingredient and each time he pulled out the wrong one from the big green coat he was wearing. "I'm sorry! I got the wrong coat! Sirius wouldn't let me get the right one, once he found out that I was coming here to help you." subconscious James said. The whole time, Severus was hiding behind a bush waiting for the right time to show himself all over again.

After that I was really thankful about the ineffectiveness of Silencing Charms when Mary's next loud snore woke me up.

It was futile to try to sleep after that. After coming dangerously close to hypothermia as a result of a few minutes in the shower, I headed down to the Great Hall. The insomniacs, the Quidditch maniacs and the nervous brainiacs were already there at the ungodly hour of 6 AM.

I grabbed a toast and made my way to the school grounds. The thunderstorm the night before had only made Hogwarts more exquisite. I decided to take a walk around the lake. After a couple of rounds around the lake I finally decided to sit down and finish my toast. The walk had helped me clear my head a bit.

Just as I was settling down on the grass beside the lake, I heard someone behind me. As fate would have it, James Potter appeared. He was holding his broomstick in one hand.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I couldn't sleep so I came down for breakfast early. Now I'm here." I answered.

I wasn't sure how to be around James anymore. On the one hand I still hadn't forgiven him for telling Sirius about me and Petunia. Added to that was my fear that getting involved with James Potter meant getting involved with a lot of trouble. I wasn't sure if I was ready for that. Yet, try as I might I couldn't stop myself from feeling incredibly happy when he sat down beside me a second later.

"I couldn't sleep either. I came here to fly around for a bit. Spotted you walking around the lake. That hair is like a beacon." He said.

"Hey, no jokes about the hair!"

"Alright, alright I didn't know you were touchy about it. Lily, about the other day…" he started.

"James, No. I don't want to talk about all that right now. Can we please just sit here and talk about something else?" I asked.

"Yeah, Sure." Even he looked a little relieved and relaxed after that.

"So, no Quidditch practice this morning?" I asked. It was the safest topic I could think of.

"No. I decided to give the team a break today." He said.

"Why do you like Quidditch so much anyway?" I asked. My first and only experience on a broomstick had not ended well. I never did get what the whole point of the game was after that.

"I look good in red and gold. At least that's what everyone says." he said, grinning.

"I think you look better in black." I added.

"Really?" he asked, surprised that I was playing along.

"That's just what I think. But what's one person's opinion against the rest of the world?"

"You _are_ my world, Lily."

I heard the bells ringing inside the castle signalling the start of our first class even before I had time to steady my rapidly melting knees. James Potter had that effect on people. And by people I mean me. But how was I supposed to have anything resembling a normal love life when the school I was living in and all its occupants were conspiring against me?

Just as we darted into the castle we bumped into Slughorn. Literally. Only James' quick Quidditch reflexes prevented Slughorn from becoming my welcome mat. I was left to fend for myself.

"Well, well, well… I see the two of you are keeping up the tradition!" Slughorn said, as he bounced back to his feet.

"What tradition?" James asked.

"Every year the Head Boy and Head Girl become… shall we say an item? They don't even wait until Christmas to put aside their old differences! Well, well I believe congratulations are in order you two… I am very happy for you!" said Slughorn, beaming.

"What! No, we're not an _item_!" I shrieked, hastily drawing my hand back from James'.

"We're getting late for class, Professor." said James. Even the gargoyles guarding Dumbledore's office could've told you that he sounded upset.

"Well carry on then!"

James disappeared in an instant. I headed for my Ancient Runes class feeling like a complete idiot.

XXXXX

I saw him in my Charms class after that. He was sitting with Peter and Remus in his usual place. He didn't return my wave when I entered the class. Remus shrugged at me while Peter looked confused. Sirius wasn't there. That was one good thing at least. I wouldn't have to face him again just yet.

I made my way to the empty seat beside Alice.

"What on earth happened?" she asked, having noticed my unreturned wave.

"Later." I muttered.

"Where's Mary anyway?" I asked, finally noticing her absence.

"She snuck off to Hogsmeade with Rupert Grey." said Alice.

"Ugh…Did you at least tell her to get us some Chocolate Frogs?"

"Yes, Lily." She said, rolling her eyes at me.

"So you were up awfully early this morning? Something keeping you up?" she asked, smiling and clearly looking at James as she said it.

"No. He's _not_ keeping me up." I said sourly.

"Is that what the problem is? He's not keeping you up at night?" she asked, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

"No! And Flitwick's here!"

As Flitwick charmed the stool he usually stands on to the center of the room, I glanced at James once more. I caught his eye. We stayed that way for a moment, him looking a tad bit hostile and tad bit sad.

"Today we're going to review Bubble-head Charms! Who can tell me what the precise wand movements are?" cried Flitwick, struggling to be heard over the general din. I felt sorry for that man.

I was about to start writing my notes when a note landed in front of me.

Looking around, I saw Elizabeth. "Open it!" she mouthed.

Sighing, I opened the note.

_Hey, I OWE YOU ONE! Seriously Lily, anything you want! Last night I don't know what it was you put in that potion, put I finally had the courage to ask Lucas Bagman out! You know Luke right? He's Ludo Bagman's brother! How great is that!_

I hated it when people put exclamation marks unnecessarily. Seeing no other way out, I scribbled a reply quickly.

_That's great! I'm glad you had a good time. But really Liz, you don't have to do anything for me. I'm the reason you were in that position in the first place. It was the least I could do._

Folding the note, I Charmed it to fly to Elizabeth's desk. Hardly ten seconds later, it was back on my desk.

_Tell me! Maybe I can fix whatever is going on between you and James?_

Where we that transparent? Though slightly tempted to take her up on her offer, I snapped out of it soon.

_No Liz, everything's fine._

I think Flitwick saw me flicking my wand at the note. He nodded disapprovingly at me.

"…eight, nine and…ten" I counted, just as the note flew back into my hands.

_Come on, there must be something bothering you!_

Scribbling the first thing I could think of on the note, I threw it back at her.

_How do you sleep despite Mary's mad snoring?_

This time I was actually curious to read her answer.

_That's easy! Just use a Bubble-head Charm, silly! Cuts the noise out completely! Haven't you been listening to Flitwick at all?_

Alice gave me a strange look as my mouth dropped open. After all those years we had spent trying to come up with a solution for the snoring, was it really that simple? Now completely annoyed, I sent the note back to her.

_Thanks! Now we're even. I really want to take down notes now._

XXXXX

Later that day, after dinner I was making my way to kitchens to grab a quick bite. I was still in a foul mood.

This morning I was mad at James, while he was trying to make it up to me. How had the tables turned? I still didn't see what he was so mad about. It wasn't like we had decided this was exclusive or anything. Our relationship, if it could be called that, was rocky at best. To go around calling us an _item_?

I really needed some chocolate.

Just as I was taking the turn to the corridor with the fruit bowl painting, I was grabbed by a pair of hands and I saw Sirius Black's face in front of mine.

What had I done to deserve this?

"What do you want?" I asked, trying hard not to reach for my wand unless absolutely necessary.

The expression on his face was inscrutable. Twice he opened his mouth as though he wanted to say something. He was unsuccessful both times.

"Spit it out, Black. I haven't got all day. What is it? I should stay away from Remus too now? Is that what you want?"

"Lily, just hear me out."

"Do you and James practice these conversations before talking to me? 'Hear me out, Lily.' I'm so sick of hearing that!" I asked, venting the day's frustration on the person who had started it all. Well pretty much started it all.

"Let's leave James out of this for a bit, alright?" he asked. I couldn't believe he had said that.

"Leave James out of this? Without James neither of us would even be here! And if I remember right the whole problem was that _James_ and I were dating!"

"Ok, you're right, we can't leave James out of it." He said, sheepishly. This Sirius as the complete opposite of the one I had seen yesterday. But I had earned my right to be on the side of the offense.

"Listen Lily, I was way out of line yesterday. I shouldn't have attacked you like that. And I definitely shouldn't have attacked Lizzie like that. I was mad and I took it out on the wrong people. I'm… sorry. I really mean it." I would've believed him if the speech hadn't sounded so rehearsed.

"So did Remus tell you to say that?" I asked, harshly.

"No. That was all me. I've been thinking about how to make it up to you guys all day long. I've been out all day trying to get tickets to the _Howling Hippogriffs_ concert next weekend. Lizzie loves them. They were sold out months ago. I pulled some strings, finally got two. They also allow back stage entry." He said, excitedly.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"_Concert tickets_? Are you joking, Sirius? Do you honestly think you can make all this right by _pulling a few strings_ and buying Liz and me concert tickets? You really thought that was going to work?"

"Well, yes and it did work. Lizzie has forgiven me." he said.

"Well that doesn't cut it for me." I said, trying to make my way to the kitchens again.

"Lily, just wait."

I think there was something in his tone that made me stop.

"I hate my family. I think you figured that out by now. They are vile and inhumane. I always knew I was nothing like them but I never knew what to do about that. James helped me find a way out. He's more than a brother to me. Which brings me to my brother…"

He took a moment after that. I let him have it in silence.

"Regulus is a stupid kid. He still is a kid. He has no idea what he is getting himself into. Even when we were children, he never could stand up for himself against our cousins. I always had to look out for him, get him out of trouble. When I got into Gryffindor I thought he'd try to get in two. That I could rescue both of us. Instead he got into Slytherin and has gotten mixed up with the worst of that lot."

"You can still help him you know. That's the whole point. It isn't too late." I said, finally speaking up.

"No Lily, it_ is_ too late. After I ran away this summer, my parents disowned me and named him heir. They made him take an Unbreakable Vow. You know what that is right?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"They made him take a vow that he'll never speak to me in school or disobey them or taint the honourable Black name." said Sirius bitterly.

"So if talks to you, he _dies_?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes. What kind of parents do that to their own kid?"

We sat in silence for a while. I had never seen this side of Sirius before. He sat hunched as though the weight of his guilt was crushing. He looked defeated.

"So you think you're trying to protect James?" I asked.

"Yes, I am. And not just from you. He is all muddled up about this You-Know-Who nonsense. I'm worried about what he's going to get himself into." said Sirius.

"You-Know-Who?" I asked, puzzled.

"That's what they're calling him now. Scared of the name. Load of crap if you ask me. What's in a name to be scared of? I don't even believe that it is real."

"So how do you explain all these disappearances?" I asked.

"Oh I do believe there are some people out there with a really sick sense of humour. But I don't think they have a leader or that the whole thing is organized or anything. It will blow off soon. I'm sure of it."

As Sirius sat there, saying that everything would be fine so confidently, it was difficult not to believe him.

"But you're still trying to protect James from me?" I asked, a little hurt.

"Protects a strong word. I just think you guys should take this a bit slow. That you're rushing into things. I mean he barely knows you and he goes around telling everyone that he's in love with you!" said Sirius.

"He thinks he's in love with me?" I asked. I think I sounded a little hopefully.

"Oh God. Don't tell me even you think you're in love with him?" Sirius groaned.

"I think I've always been in love with James. It's hard to know him and not love him just a little bit even." I answered, surprised at my honesty.

"See that's what I mean! You guys aren't even out of Hogwarts yet! How can you be talking about the things with such finality?"

"Seventeen isn't too young an age to fall in love. And I'm not even saying that I am in love with him just yet."

"So, you're not even sure about how you feel about him?"

"Are you seriously asking me this?" I asked.

"Ok, alright that's your business. But Lily, trust me James is being unreasonable about all of this. He's going around talking about sacrificing his life, about saving everyone else's life, protecting his family, and painting a rosy picture about how the two of you would live in the perfect world together. It's like he's living in a really bad novel. And I can't get through to him. You have to promise me that at least you'll be sensible about this Lily. Take this slow. See where it goes."

I couldn't believe I was getting relationship advice from Sirius Black.

"I can't work it out with James if you aren't on board with this Sirius. It is clear to me that no matter how I feel about it or how much James denies it, your opinion also counts. Ultimately James wouldn't go against you. How do I know you aren't going to change your mind suddenly and decide that I don't deserve to be with James?"

"First of all, Lily, you're right. James and I wouldn't go against each other. But in this case I would have had to change my mind and go his way. Because James isn't going to give up on you no matter what I say. Secondly, I'll prove it to you. I think you'd do a world of good for James. You want me to let you in? Here goes…"

He got up and fished around in his pockets for a bit. I was curious and a bit apprehensive. What happened next was at first an anti-climax.

He handed me an old blank piece of parchment.

"What is this piece of rubbish? Are you going to write a signed oath on it or something?" I asked, a little disappointed.

"No, Lily. That piece of rubbish is one of the most amazing and well-kept Marauder secrets. None of us have ever told anyone about it. This is me trusting you." he said proudly.

With that declaration, he pointed his wand at the piece of parchment I was holding in my hands and said –

"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good."

XXXXX

_END OF CHAPTER 6_

_**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW**_


	7. Chapter 7

**RECAP OF CHAPTER 6**

_"I can't work it out with James if you aren't on board with this Sirius. It is clear to me that no matter how I feel about it or how much James denies it, your opinion also counts. Ultimately James wouldn't go against you. How do I know you aren't going to change your mind suddenly and decide that I don't deserve to be with James?"_

_"First of all, Lily, you're right. James and I wouldn't go against each other. But in this case I would have had to change my mind and go his way. Because James isn't going to give up on you no matter what I say. Secondly, I'll prove it to you. I think you'd do a world of good for James. You want me to let you in? Here goes…"_

_He got up and fished around in his pockets for a bit. I was curious and a bit apprehensive. What happened next was at first an anti-climax._

_He handed me an old blank piece of parchment._

_"What is this piece of rubbish? Are you going to write a signed oath on it or something?" I asked, a little disappointed._

_"No, Lily. That piece of rubbish is one of the most amazing and well-kept Marauder secrets. None of us have ever told anyone about it. This is me trusting you." he said proudly._

_With that declaration, he pointed his wand at the piece of parchment I was holding in my hands and said –_

_"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good."_

**CHAPTER 7**

In the six years since a tawny owl flew into my bedroom window and brought me the most amazing letter of my life, I had seen a lot of incredible things that we can do with our gift. The entire castle was a testimony to all the wonderful things that magic can bring into this world. The limitless possibilities that magic had to offer had always filled me with a sense of amazement.

I felt the same awe when I saw the old piece of parchment that night. As soon as the tip of Sirius' wand touched the worn out parchment, thin black lines began to spread across length and breadth of the parchment, intertwining and dancing into every corner until it stopped all at once. But the show wasn't over yet. At the top of the page, words written in a very familiar curly handwriting appeared –

_Messrs' Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs_

_Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers_

_Are proud to present_

_THE MARAUDER'S MAP_

Every single, magnificent detail of the castle I called home and its grounds were mapped out on the piece of parchment folded up to represent every floor at Hogwarts. But the most remarkable feature of the map wasn't the secret passageways out of Hogwarts into Hogsmeade or all the shortcuts that could take you from the North Tower to the Great Hall in under a minute, it was the tiny black and red dots scattered all over the page, some moving and some stationary. Each of the dots had a label, a name written in the same familiar scrawl.

I looked up at Sirius, my jaw almost reaching my knees. He was a looking at map with an expression that belongs on the face of a mother looking at her baby for the first time after forty hours of labour. He dragged his attention to me and grinned,

"Bloody brilliant, right?"

"Did you guys do this all by yourselves?" I asked, not even trying to keep the awe out of my voice.

"Every last bit of it."

"Moony, Wormatil, Padfoot and Prongs – Why do you call yourselves that?"

"That Lily, is a story for another night."

"Why are some of the dots red in colour?" I asked looking closely at the map.

"Uh, about that – "

"Wait a second; all the red ones are in pairs! Julia Gold and Amos Diggory, Alice and Frank, Sirius have you charmed it to turn red whenever two people are making out?" I asked the grudging admiration I had been feeling quickly being replaced by the more familiar fury.

"Okay, I admit that wasn't the nicest thing to do but it's just so that we know which empty classrooms to avoid! It's not a big deal." said Sirius defensively.

"Not a big deal? This is an invasion of privacy! People don't want to be spied on when they are in the middle of the most intimate moments of their days, it's outrageous! Is this how James knew exactly where to show up whenever Ryan Ackerley and I were together every single time last year? He was _spying_ on me?"

"It's not like you can see what people are doing, it just – "he stopped abruptly.

I had been standing holding the map out in front of me. Sirius was staring at something on the map with a startled look on his face, and it might have been a trick of the light, but for a second I saw a hint of fear in his eyes.

"What is it?" I asked, looking at the map trying to see what had caught his attention.

He raised his hand and pointed to the left bottom corner of the map with the tip of his wand. Under the dim light of his wand, I read two names – Severus Snape and Regulus Black. They were walking towards the Great Lake, and following the tip of Sirius' wand as it traced the path to the Great Lake, in the very clearing that James and I had sat in this morning, was another label – Lucius Malfoy.

I looked up just in time to see a look of resolve appear on Sirius' face. But even before I'd had any time to process what I had seen, he darted off into the darkness.

"Sirius, wait up!" I screamed, running after him and lighting my own wand to make my way in the darkness. Luckily, I still had the map. I saw the dot labelled Sirius was already halfway to the staircase that led up to the Great Hall. There was no use following him. I had almost given up when I noticed a shortcut just a little ahead of where I saw standing that led straight to the Entrance Hall. Thanking my stars that Sirius had been in too much of a hurry to remember the shortcut, I ran to my right.

I made it to the Entrance Hall a little out of breath just in time to see Sirius appear at the door beside the marble staircase. He looked a little surprised to see me blocking his way out.

"Dammit, I forgot the passage behind the painting of the roses." he muttered.

"That wasn't the one I took." I said, as I walked towards him and tapped my wand on his head. I don't know if the look on his face was because of the bizarre feeling of a raw egg breaking on his head and trickling down his back, exactly like I had felt somewhere in the middle of my sprint to the Great Hall or what I said next –

"Let's go."

I thought I heard him mumble a thanks but it was drowned under the sound of the creaking of the oak doors. I followed him down the stone steps, muttering – "Nox."

He did the same.

I squinted at the map trying to see if they had reached Malfoy yet. Full moon was six days away, but there was enough light for me to make out that the three of them were together.

"They're still at the clearing near the Lake." I said, panting.

He didn't respond.

"What do you plan to do after we reach there? It's not like you can talk to Regulus, remember the Unbreakable Vow?" I asked, not wanting to run into the scene without any plan whatsoever.

"You think I could forget that, Lily?" he snapped back at me.

"I'm just trying to help here! It doesn't look like you have much of a plan!" I snapped back.

"There's a shed a little away from the clearing where all the school carriages are transfigured and kept. They charmed it so that students couldn't find it after the incident with Peter back in third year. It's a quiet night and if we hide there we could probably hear them." he said.

We reached the place where a little over twelve hours ago James told me that I meant the world to him, but instead of taking the path that I was accustomed to, Sirius was proceeding into the trees to our right. We had slowed down to a walk because we didn't want to be heard. I could barely make out Sirius' silhouette in front of me when I saw him wave his wand at something in front of us. The shed he had spoken about appeared in front of us and Sirius walked into it.

On entering the shed, I saw hundreds of flattened, paper thin plates with the familiar black and gold colouring resting against the right wall, the one right in front having a door and window exactly like what I remembered of the carriages that transported us from the Hogsmeade Station to Hogwarts at the start of the year every year. Taking a second to marvel at this sight, I rushed to my left where Sirius was already looking out of the window.

"I can see all of three of them even through the trees but I can't hear them! There's a strange buzzing noise. I don't get it!" whispered Sirius, looking almost deranged in his impatience.

"It's probably _Muffliato. _Severus invented it back in fifth year." I said, trying not to remember the last time I had seen him cast that spell as I walked towards the door we had just walked through.

It was the night he came to the Gryffindor Tower to apologize to me after what I now refer to as the _Mudblood_ incident. The day our friendship officially reached the end of its course.

I pointed my wand at the door knob and after two quick prods it fell into my hand in two pieces. I ran back to the window as Sirius watched me trace out complicated shapes over the two pieces of the door knob.

"What in Merlin's name are you doing?" he asked, still whispering.

"I'm casting an Eavesdropping Charm on these two pieces. We can levitate one of them into the clearing and we'll be able to hear what they are saying on this one here."

This time Sirius looked at me with awe.

"Brilliant. I'll levitate it to the clearing. You cast the _Muffli_ thing on us." he said, the doorknob already halfway to the clearing by the time he finished his sentence.

I muttered "Muffliato" just as Lucius Malfoy's cold sneering voice swam out of the rear end of the doorknob in Sirius' hand.

" – about the werewolf? Is he any good?"

"He never mentioned him to me." said a voice I knew to be Regulus'. I felt Sirius tense up beside me just as my insides turned cold.

"Well, you could find out." said Malfoy.

"I told you I can't talk to him!" said Regulus, sounding a little annoyed as though tired of repeating himself.

"His kind will never fit in with the rest of the world. He will never be accepted. It won't be much longer until his kind sees the wisdom in the Dark Lord's plans. They will join us, of that I am sure. A day will come when he will want to be with his kind for that is his rightful place. Your job is to make sure that day come sooner rather than later." said Malfoy.

"What does the Dark Lord want from him anyway?" asked Regulus defiantly, sounding so much like Sirius in that moment that I felt a pricking at my heart.

"It is not your place to question the Dark Lord's motives. You should be honored that the Dark Lord has overlooked the disgrace that your family has recently fallen into on account of your brother's behavior and given you the privilege to carry out his plans. The Black name has been tainted by your brother as he continues to worship that Potter boy like a filthy house elf. It pains me to see the humiliation that Walburga and Orion have to live with every single day because of what their first-born has turned into but you can change all of that. You have been given a chance to restore the Black name to its former glory in our society and you should be grateful for it."

I had to grab Sirius' hand to steady it. It was shaking so much I was sure he'd drop the doorknob. His hand was clutching the doorknob so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. Outside, Regulus' back was turned to us but I saw him draw himself up to his full height, his right hand tightening around his wand.

"You have until the end of the month. The meeting will take place after the wedding party, that's when it'll be most convenient to get everyone together without drawing suspicion to ourselves. I have contacted most of the people who will be there that night and Severus, you will take care of the Hogwarts side of the affairs. Regulus will help you."

And with no other indication that the conversation had come to an end, Lucius Malfoy put his hand into his pocket and disappeared. Severus and Regulus stood still for a moment looking at each other and with some form of mutual consent Regulus was the first to head out of the clearing. Whatever they were planning to do, they weren't going to be discussing it there. Severus stood looking out at the Lake for a few minutes longer before he too walked out of the clearing.

"You think we should follow him?" I asked, as Sirius slid to floor, his eyes closed and head resting on the wall behind him.

"They won't be doing anything more tonight." said Sirius, still not opening his eyes.

"Malfoy probably had a Portkey in his pocket. You cannot apparate in and out of Hogwarts, it's the only way he could've entered the grounds. But don't you need a Ministry permit for that?" I asked, in attempt to start a conversation.

"Yes you do. Malfoy probably got a license to create one whenever he wants. A lot of Pureblood families have one. It sometimes gets handed down from father to son." said Sirius.

Not wanting to think about the injustice in that arrangement, I looked at my watch.

"Come on Sirius, we should get back to the Gryffindor Tower." I said, offering him a hand up.

He did not even acknowledge it.

"Looks like James was right after all. There is a war brewing out there." he said flatly.

My hand dropped to my side. Earlier this evening I had readily believed him when he had said that the war was a mere rumour. It had given me hope to hear it from Sirius in his cocky and self-assured voice. The same person sounded almost resigned as he voiced my worst fears.

I sat on the floor beside him playing with the doorknob in my hand.

"The Dark Lord he kept mentioning… who do you think that is?" I asked.

"The man who is probably fuelling this war, he must be the one behind all those disappearances. He's looking for followers looks like. He's probably not from around here because he'd have to be extremely powerful and not to mention a Pureblood from a prominent family to have men like Lucius Malfoy ready to serve him. And I would've met or at least heard of him by now if he were from around here." he said, looking at me.

I was silent for a moment wondering how to put the next thing I wanted to say.

"They were talking about Remus weren't they?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Sirius looked so shocked, it would've been funny under any other circumstances.

"How did you-?"

"I've known since fifth year. And I also know that all three of you know about it. Don't worry I've never told anyone about it, not even Mary and Alice." I said.

"But you talk to him every single day." he said.

"Of course I do! He's still my friend right? I can't believe you of all people would ask me that! Remus is one of the most gentle and kind person I've ever met!" I said indignantly.

"I know that, Lily! It's just most people don't get that. Even we took a while to come to terms with it, even if it was just five minutes and we were his best friends! You're right, I'm sorry, I should have given you more credit than that." he said earnestly.

I was still a little cross but there was too much on my mind to dwell on it.

"So they want him to join them? Just because he's a werewolf?"

Sirius groaned and dropped his face in his hands, his body more tense than it had been all night.

"I don't know." he said, his words muffled by his hands.

The cold night air and the rocky floor weren't making the conversation any easier. I put my arm around Sirius trying to get him to stand up.

"We'll talk in the Common Room, come on." I said.

He got up this time without any protest and made his way out of the door.

I followed him as soon as I was done repairing the doorknob I had broken, what seemed like ages ago.

We walked in silence along the grounds, up the stone staircase, past the Entrance Hall and all the way up to the Gryffindor Tower while I made sure that we wouldn't run into anyone with one eye on the map. When we finally reached the Tower, the Fat Lady looked at us with her eyebrows raised. She was surprised to see the two of us together at this time of the hour. Sirius didn't seem to notice anything. He muttered the password and made for the Common Room.

I had barely stepped out of the portrait hole when I heard the very voice I had subconsciously been craving to hear ever since I left the shed.

"Where the hell have you guys been? Elizabeth said you went to find Lily hours ago!"

XXXXX

_END OF CHAPTER 7  
_

_**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW**_


	8. Chapter 8

**RECAP OF CHAPTER 7**

_We walked in silence along the grounds, up the stone staircase, past the Entrance Hall and all the way up to the Gryffindor Tower while I made sure that we wouldn't run into anyone with one eye on the map. When we finally reached the Tower, the Fat Lady looked at us with her eyebrows raised. She was surprised to see the two of us together at this time of the hour. Sirius didn't seem to notice anything. He muttered the password and made for the Common Room._

_I had barely stepped out of the portrait hole when I heard the very voice I had subconsciously been craving to hear ever since I left the shed._

_"Where the hell have you guys been? Elizabeth said you went to find Lily hours ago!"_

**CHAPTER 8**

"Where the hell have you guys been? Elizabeth said you went looking for Lily hours ago!" said James, addressing Sirius and not even looking in my direction. In the light of all the events that had transpired since this morning, I had completely forgotten that James was cross with me.

Sirius walked past him and collapsed on the couch opposite the fireplace. The Common Room was unoccupied except for the three of us. I walked towards James hesitantly. He finally looked at me.

"We were outside." I said, taking his hand in mine. I was glad that he didn't try to take it back.

"Why on earth were you outside at this hour?" he asked completely bewildered, but following me as I led him to the couch. Sirius was lying back on the couch with his eyes closed but he looked so troubled that I felt an inexplicable urge to comfort him. But he made no effort to move or say anything. It looked like I would have to do all the explaining.

"James, It's a really long story and I'll explain everything to you. But please don't interrupt me." I began. James was beginning to look a little nervous. He nodded nevertheless.

I told him everything. Throughout the story, Sirius didn't move even once. Anyone else would've thought that he had fallen asleep but I knew that he wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon after what he had heard tonight. I told James about Sirius apologizing near the kitchens, about him showing me the map, about hiding in the shed and about every single thing we heard them talk about. I also told him everything that Sirius and I had discussed after Regulus, Severus and Malfoy left.

My throat was sore by the time I had finished my story.

It was a mark of the kind of friend James was, that the minute I finished my story he turned to Sirius and said – "So what do you think we should do, mate?"

James' voice seemed to shake Sirius out of his reverie because he suddenly sat up.

"What do you think Malfoy meant when he said 'Severus will take care of the Hogwarts side of affairs'?" he asked, looking at me.

"He obviously means that Snape is supposed to recruit people from Hogwarts while he takes care of the people outside. I knew it!" said James, before I had a chance to respond.

"That is one possibility." I mumbled, not wanting to agree with him.

"That is the only thing that makes sense! And he wants Remus to join them too!" said James agitatedly.

"But why though? Why are they so keen on recruiting Remus?" asked Sirius.

"They probably want someone on the inside. A spy of sorts, I think. And someone from Gryffindor would be their best option. Especially someone close to you, James, given how involved your parents are in everything." I said, not knowing how James would react to this.

"And just because he's a werewolf they're assuming that he'd willingly join them." Sirius muttered in anger.

"How do they know anyway? For that matter, how long have you known, Lily?" asked James.

"Does it really matter? The bottom line is this is far more serious than we thought at first." I said, voicing what each of us had been thinking.

Neither of them protested.

"I didn't mention this to you before. The night after our Hogsmeade date Mary told me something. Do you guys remember Gideon and Fabian Prewett from back in our first year? They were asking Matt, Mary's brother to join something they called "The Order of the Phoenix', it's a group Dumbledore put together probably to fight the 'Dark Lord'. I guess those are the people you saw at your house over the summer, James."

Neither of them responded to that either. James was staring at the fireplace while Sirius was looking at the ceiling again. There was a time when I would've given anything to shut the two of them up. Now I was desperate to hear what they had to say.

"We have to do something about this. We can't just let this happen!" James said finally, his jaw tightening the way it did when he was coming up with a Quidditch strategy.

"We? James, _we_ can't do anything by ourselves. This is much bigger than us. We have to go to Dumbledore. If anyone can handle this and do what's right, it's him." I said. The thought of Dumbledore coming in to this and taking over was comforting; it loosened the knot that had formed in my stomach.

"No, no way. We can't go to Dumbledore! Regulus will get expelled, and in my parent's books that counts as disgracing the family and I have no idea how the Unbreakable Vow works. Besides, what good has Dumbledore done? If he was really so powerful, how come two of _his_ students are recruiting _his_ other students right under_ his_ nose, in _his_ own castle!" said Sirius.

"Sirius, you can't expect him to know about everything that happens in this castle. But if we do tell him he would definitely be able to help! And I'm sure he won't expel Regulus if you explained the situation to him." I said, trying to reason with Sirius.

"Lily's right, mate. Going to Dumbledore with all this is the best thing we can do at this point." James added.

"And how are we going to explain to him that we knew exactly where they were meeting? Or do you also want to show him the map? And then explain to him that we were in the Forbidden Forest past curfew." said Sirius.

"Come on, mate. We've done worse than that and gotten away with it. And what are a few detentions if it means that we could put a stop to this? You're going to have to come up with a better excuse than that!" said James.

Sirius turned to me next.

"And what about dear _Sev_? What's Dumbledore going to do to him? I heard he was given a final warning when he and Mulciber were caught using Dark spells on that third year girl from Ravenclaw."

I felt James tense up beside me the minute Sirius mentioned Severus' name.

"That was just a rumour. And Dumbledore won't expel him either. He won't expel just one of them anyway." I said, trying to convince myself as much as I was trying to convince him.

"How do you know that?"

I had no answer for him. Sirius was beginning to look triumphant.

"You're right. We can't go to Dumbledore." I said.

"I don't believe this, Lily! Why are you still trying to protect that scumbag? After everything he has done and everything you heard today!" asked James, incredulously. I could tell that he was taking this personally. I don't know if James knew that Severus and I had been more than just friends at one time and I didn't want to find out.

"I know he's not the Severus I was friends with and he probably doesn't deserve even a shred of my loyalty anymore but I can't just tell on him to Dumbledore, James. It's just not something I can do." I said, hoping James wouldn't argue back.

"At least not without talking to him first." I said.

"No." It would've been comical on any other occasion to hear the two of them say something in perfect unison like they just had.

"Why not? I realize that it might be completely futile but I have to give it a shot! Maybe I'll get through to him, maybe he'll tell me something more than we know or just explain what's going on. For all we know, it's not all that bad and we're completely overreacting about all of this!" I said. It sounded stupid even to me.

"Are you really that naive? You think you'll be able change Snape? You cannot put yourself in the middle of this anymore Lily. I won't allow it." said James.

My eyes narrowed.

"_Allow me_? You can't tell me who I can and cannot talk to!"

"I didn't mean it that way!" he added quickly. "But just think of the position you're putting yourself in? It's not safe, Lily. Please consider that!" he said almost pleading now.

"None of this is safe, James. I think we left that behind already. But I have to try to get through to Severus just one last time." I said, in a tone that immediately put an end to the argument.

James turned away from me and walked to the fireplace, staring intently at the dancing flames.

Sirius finally stepped in.

"Alright. Lily, you can talk to Severus. It's not like we have any other option anyway. Meanwhile, I'll write to my cousin Andromeda. Ask her if she knows anything about this 'wedding'." said Sirius, standing up.

"But if you don't find out anything concrete in a week's time, we're going to Dumbledore. Agreed?" asked James, looking at Sirius.

Sirius nodded and started making his way to the dormitories.

"Well, I'm turning in. You coming mate?" asked Sirius, turning back to see if James was coming too.

"No, I think I'll stick around here for a little while longer."

I tried not to smile too obviously.

We were silent for a few minutes after Sirius left. James had the kind of look on his face that suggested that he had a nasty itch somewhere that was screaming for his attention. He was doing a good job of controlling it though.

"Crazy day, huh?" I asked, putting the poor guy out of his misery. Not to mention, ending my own mental turmoil.

"Pretty much the craziest." he said, slumping into the couch.

"James, about this morning with Slughorn, don't you think you're overreacting a tad bit?" I said, jumping right into it. The moment the words flew out of my mouth I realized that I had thrown myself into oncoming traffic.

"Overreacting?" he asked, incredulously.

"I added the 'tad bit' part." I finished somewhat lamely.

"What do you think this is, Lily? What do you think we're doing?"

"Seriously James, do you want to have the 'where is this going' conversation _three days_ after our first date? Don't you think it's a little premature?"

I couldn't believe we were having this conversation. In all the scenarios I had played out in my head, I had never imagined it to go like this. James being the one three steps ahead while I was the one lingering behind waiting for little nudges from behind to pushing me along.

"Bloody hell, it's not like I'm asking you to marry me or anything! All I'm asking is for you to at least acknowledge that you and I are more than just the Head students who hang out just because they have to! To think that all these years you've been turning me down saying that I'm too flaky. Who's the one running now, Lily?" he asked, his words stinging me more than I let on.

I lost it somewhere in the middle of James' tirade. I don't know what triggered it. Maybe I was reminded of Sirius' warning that James was progressing at warp speed and that I would have to slow him down. Maybe it was because _this_ felt more familiar. James and me fighting, and yelling at each other till our lungs were close to exploding. Everything had been changing so much lately that it felt good to go back to one thing that was familiar. Never mind all the damage it was doing to what were now.

"I am not running! I'm just being cautious and can you really blame me for that? When was the last time you were in a relationship for more than two weeks? And how long has it been for us? Two days? So forgive me for thinking twice before going to the Astronomy Tower and announcing to the world that you finally won! Not that I can stop you from doing the same!"

"_Won_? You think I'm playing some sort of a game? I don't understand you, Lily! One minute you're telling me that this is getting too serious too fast and the next minute you're accusing me of thinking of you as some sort of a conquest. I don't know what more I have to do to convince you that this for real!" he yelled back. I could tell he'd reached his breaking point.

"Maybe I just can't do this, James. You and I, we're never on the same page! In fact right now, it feels like we're in two different books! And the books are in different continents! It doesn't feel...right."

I had been screaming at him like a deranged woman. I was giving him the full dosage of 'The awful red-head scream' like Mary liked to call it. But that last word was barely more than a whisper. I saw his expression his change, his eyes darkened with an emotion I couldn't put my finger on. Was it anger, hurt or something much more powerful?

Luckily, he didn't keep me in the dark for too long.

A second later he walked towards me and only stopped when our noses were a quill's breadth away from each other. He hooked his finger beneath my chin and turned my face up to meet his gaze. And then he kissed me, his tongue teasing at my lips. We had kissed before obviously, hell I had initiated a few of them myself, but it hadn't been like _this_. This kiss was slow and meant to melt all my resolve. My arms seemed to have a life of their own as they wrapped around his neck and I surrendered, enjoying the rush of heat that coursed through my body, like I'd just gulped down a dozen bottles of _really_ strong Butterbeer.

His hands slid down my waist to my hips, then circled to smooth over my back. I was trying not to lose myself in the moment. But then my pulse began pounding and I felt a tiny bit light-headed and my brain stopped working entirely. Ultimately I realized that it would be impossible to remain sane through this. James was determined to prove that we were destined to be like this.

When he finally pulled back, I opened my eyes, blinking furiously, a little embarrassed that I probably looked like I was just recovering from a really powerful Confundus Charm. My head was pounding and my breath was coming in quick gasps. He was looking down at me with a slight smile on his face.

"The day you stop reacting like this, I'll believe you when you say that it doesn't feel _righ_t." he said leaning over me to whisper into my ear.

He kissed the top of my forehead and walked to the staircase leading to his dormitories, calling out behind him-

"Goodnight, Lily."

XXXXX

_END OF CHAPTER 8_

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